Deathdrop,
Yautja,
14 years ago
In all the time since my last in-storyline post, my minions on the moon were carrying out my plan of creating a front company on Earth (they sold Alaska back to the USA for the money to get started) that does many things.
There's the Zoo that has nothing but exotic creatures (saber-toothed Tigers, giant bunnies, Chupacabras, etc.) that takes in millions.
The company also markets technology reverse-engineered from the ancient alien ruins we found on the moon. Zappy engines allow for cheap travel all over the world.
The segment of the company that deals with books is used to distribute the subversive literature of the Boomerang Cult, which spreads it's influence. The more worshipers I have, the more powerful I become.
The bunnyblob cocooned itself to a hill while I was gone, and emerged as a giant egg-laying amoeba. The eggs, when infused with nanotechnology, hatch into giant biomechanical bunny tanks. They go well with the now-upgraded steam-powered Dino-zombies.
Secure in the knowledge that my army is beginning to take shape, I send bIZZARRO dEATHDROP back to his reality and return to my home.
Due to all the shit that's been involved with this thread (both literal and otherwise), the Earth has become stinky. Turning to my company, they let us scoop it all into that lava pit you're hiding in. Leaving in disgust, you don't see the Zombie penguin.
It walks up, slaps you in the face, and takes the skull. That's what you get for taking my avatar.
(indirectly) MY SKULL!