Deathdrop, Yautja, 13 years ago

Depressed by the deaths of the palm trees, I retreat back to my castle in the 3 ½ dimension, where I sulk for a bit in my throne room before discovering several parts of my previous bodies fused together into a Frankenstein-like cyborg amalgamation.

It reminds me a bit of the future overlord version of me I met at the beginning of the thread. Suddenly, the weirdo aliens who did the experiment with the Cerberubi appear.

I first met them during the ritual of Z'GG-GKthlUIr'kkc-TA, where they promised me that they would repair the 4th wall I have so recklessly destroyed if I helped them.

“We have arrived from the Dyson Shell, Deathdrop. These are our new bodies, created in the Old Way, by being consumed and freed. This is your new body, created in OUR way. The time has come.”

My spirit form merges with the new body, transforming me into a freaky cyborg dude.

“Look, Deathdrop. See the threads of our plan.”

My new brain dials in to a random radio station of Earth, and is treated to the horrific sounds of the new ‘We Are the World.’ It changes the channel, only to hear the crisp crack of a pig’s anus.

When I switch to the news, all I hear are the extra dead organisms being cleaned up as the Grim Reaper recovers, or the dead pot dealer found beneath the Jersey Turnpike. All the resulting hatred and bitterness from these events gathers in the astral plane, causing the Zeitgeist to become overly negative.

This displeases The Fish-Whore (ruler of the universe, FYI) who dispatches The Hedgehogs who control the afterlife to appoint a guardian of Earth to prevent the chaos from increasing.

They will grant this office to whoever can solve the crisis on Earth. Realizing I’ve left the Moon parked in Scotland, I teleport there and order the Bunnyblob to begin excreting it’s digestive juices so my bacteria apes can use their abilities to convert it into fuel for the Moon’s zappy engines.

With a full zappy engine, we place ourselves back into orbit around the Earth, where we can get a better view of the astral plane.

My army of telepathic zombie penguins begins using their psychic powers to funnel the negative energies out of Earth’s population, using it to power the speakers of the Dinosaur power metal bands’ instruments.

Using their epic power metal anthems, they awaken Lart, (he’s the result of a one night stand between light and dark) whose rise kills every single evil person on Earth, resulting in world peace. For accomplishing all this, the Hedgehogs grant me God-like powers.

Meanwhile, Heck and Hell destroy one another, leaving no place for all the evil dead people to go. I convert the 3 ½ dimension into a new afterlife and move my castle to the moon.

My Ninja Jellyfish agree to separate the new afterlife into sections (hades-style) so that the evil can be punished while the followers of the Cult of The Boomerang (started in secret by me in the last thread) go to their eternal reward.

But I don’t have a God complex. Seriously.

With my 9-breasted Raptor wife by my side, I use my new powers to magically acquire the Skull. Next, I’m going to work on getting her a new body. She’s got a great personality and all, but fucking a dinosaur is still pretty nasty, regardless of how many tits they have.

MY SKULL!!!

DarkSerpentine, Yautja, 13 years ago

Deathdrop is then mauled by DarkSerpentine the Night Cougar Xenomorph!

My Skull

IceNeko, Yautja, 13 years ago

IceNeko was already angry, she had fallen down a pit while chasing after some annoying kid. So she wanted to vent her rage on someone. However just happend to be in her way. She saw the Night Cougar that had beaten up Deathdrop she roared in rage at seeing something alive and up in her way. IceNeko charged the other Xenomorph and began the worlds worst beat down upon DarkSerpentine.

19hrs Later

IceNeko backed away from the twitching form that lay at her feet. Throwing back her long head Neko roared in triumph and victory at DarkSerpentine's defeat and her own gain. The female xeno ran off once she picked up the scent of and old clan memeber from the first clan she joined. Ice ran back and grabbed the skull and carried it off without looking back.

My Skull DarkSerpentine out for 4

Deathdrop, Yautja, 13 years ago

"Ah, I see you've mauled one of my spare bodies..."

Stepping over the night cougar xenomorph twitching on the ground, I point in the direction of Iceneko (she's running past a lunar rover) and concentrate for a moment.

Suddenly, Iceneko finds she's been turned into a Fern from the Jurassic period. How does it survive on the Moon, you ask? We've been terraforming it, of course. The bacteria apes plant you in the Cheese Mines while I take the skull.

The Night Cougar xeno's body is liquefied into nutrients to feed the army of palm tree monsters I'm growing in the basement. They'll crush my enemies, but look really relaxing doing it.

MY SKULL!!!!

BloodHarpy, Yautja, 13 years ago

BloodHarpy watched all all this unfolded and decided it was time unleash her ultimate weapon:Her robot skeleton army that she had hidden in a volcano. Once they were free they went in search of the skull while BloodHarpy walked past Deathdrop and avoided DarkSerpentine's liquid remains. Pausing BloodHarpy smirked as one of her skeletons brought her the skull, the hybrid walked off smirking with the skull and the rest of her army.

My Skull

Shadowwall, Yautja, 13 years ago

THE CIRCUS IS IN TOWN!!!
The entire skeleton army is sitting in the circus and Bloodharpy gets a first class seat.After some nice acts were you see humans getting butthuged by the butthugers we perform a clown act with a runner chasing a dog. After our grand finally is about to begin. Bloodharpy insisted to be the volunteer.

Ofcourse it's a magical vanishing act...

We let harpy crawl in an Alien egg and when we open it a facehugger comes out !!! tadaaaaa

Bloodharpy buttbursts suddenly out of those humans from the first act.

The skeletons are all ROFL !!!

But harrpy noticed that she didn't have the skull anymore. Short after she noticed the facehugger hugging a bom while rolling towards her ..... BOOM!!!


Thx for the skull and with a clownly laugh ShadowW rans of xD

MY SKULL

Deathdrop, Yautja, 13 years ago

Deathdrop adjusts the gravity on the Moon until it begins causing tidal waves on Earth. An especially large one floods the circus, washing all of you away. With the skeleton army neutralized, I send the full force of my army to Earth armed with anti-logic armor. The wipe the floor with the various combatants, then bring me back the skull.

MY SKULL!

DeathWraith, Yautja, 13 years ago

I use extreme sarcasm against your army. They don't know what to make of it and they just shoot eachother in the head with pinatas. Soon after that, i arrive at the scene and i feel blissful. At this point, the anti-logic armor shatters so i can finally start to make some sense. It appears that i have somehow lost my memory and now i think i am Michael Jackson, so i take the skull, then turn 360 degrees and walk away.



MY SKULL!!!

DarkSerpentine, Yautja, 13 years ago

DeathWraith is once again mauled by DarkSerpentine the Night Cougar. She take's the skull and runs off to a secret cave that nobody knows about or has seen!

My Skull!!!!!

Shadowwall, Yautja, 13 years ago

UNlucky for serpentine ShadowW just used this mysterious cave for hes shit. In other words it turned into a shithole and you faint. I rub my butt and flush.
Then I see a nice skull between all the shit and I take it.

The skull smells like my shit so I don't mind :)

MY SKULL

Deathdrop, Yautja, 13 years ago

Jim to Troll owned that cave, and is offended by your reckless destruction of it. He writes a ripping satire of you and makes you look silly in the eyes of the public. As a result, your campaign for Govenor is ruined, and the repo man comes and takes your skull.

But then I steal it from him, so it's MY SKULL!

WarBlade, Yautja, 13 years ago

WarBlade uncloaked in front of Deathdrop and super kicked him in the nuts. While yelling in agony of his nuts I take the skull and look it inside my trophey safe.

My Skull

Deathdrop out for 5 cause he needs new nuts!

DeathWraith, Yautja, 13 years ago

DeathWraith is a tree. Trees don't move. But i rip off Warblade's balls with my rugged branches.

Warblade out for 5.

Skulls and stuff.

Deathdrop, Yautja, 13 years ago

Xipe Totec wanted me to tell you that the tree is fucked. Get out while there's still time. Be reborn as a one-celled lifeform or something that'll get less involved in this shit.

MY SKULL.

DeathWraith, Yautja, 13 years ago

Deathdrop, you were taken out for 5 posts, you still have 4 posts left, srsly.

Deathdrop, Yautja, 13 years ago

Shit, I didn't see that there. Carry on.

BloodHarpy, Yautja, 13 years ago

I use my newfound powers of fire bending(after I drank 190 bottles of Lousiana Hot Sauce 90 bottles of Tobasco and drank red hot lava) I use my power to cause a huge fire storm! After I wave the flames away I walk up to DeathWraith and take the skull since DeathWriath is to amazed to move or say anything due to my power of fire!

My Skull!

DeathWraith, Yautja, 13 years ago

But i am not amazed at your power, i am in fact amazed at how you think that such a power would amaze me! I mean come on, i am the fucking Death Wraith, the descendant of the elemental wraiths of space between realms, i sniff planets, i cum suns, i wash my balls with the souls of the wicked. My bowling balls, because as a concentrated consciousness that i am, i have no real physical body and so when i manifest one, i do it without adding testicles to it, i mean why would i even need testicles, they just hurt, and i can create anything by simply manipulating reality in all its dimensions, including non-solar sperms. So anyway, while you ponder the complexity of my testicles dilemma, i take the skull and stick it in one of my eye-sockets.


MY SKULL!!!

DarkSerpentine, Yautja, 13 years ago

(Ok that's just creepy)

You once again are mauled by the Night Cougar!

My Skull DeathWraith out 3!!!!!

Shadowwall, Yautja, 13 years ago

yej now you see even the best people make mistakes like me and DD. waited a long time to say this xD


K anyway how shall I take the skull this time...

I hiss out loud and Night cougar comes(obviously)
Let's play a game of rock paper scissors.

Cougar shows paper and I scissors.

I win
MY SKULL