Deathdrop,
Human,
13 years ago
The bank forecloses on the old cave, which, unknown to anyone, has a magic portal leading to a dimension of pure cheese.
Because it only activates due to plot convenience, Deathdrop is freed from the Cheeselands. After thousands of years trapped by cheese, Deathdrop has been driven insane. Using his nuclear skin flakes, Deathdrop attempts to purge the world of all cheese. The evil, evil cheese.
You are all blown up, causing your souls to be sucked into the cheese dimension. Deathdrop's reasoning (such as it is) is that if there is an infinite amount of cheese, only an infinite number of people could eat it. The recruitment begins...
Oh, and he also finds a Skull, which seems familiar for some reason.
MY SKULL!