AvP 3 takes us back to Fury 161. Wayland-Yutani sends a crew to check on the prisoners. A crew made of a talking dragon (Jerry Seinfeld - just painted like a dragon and with a rubber tail and rubber claws), two anime babes (who can only speak japanese), their translator (Oprah Winfrey), and a mobster who talks with a sicillian accent, played by Danny DeVito.
General plot and epic scenes:
It starts with the spaceship approaching the planet, the crew awakes, they talk, they eat, at the table the mobster (called... Virgil... or something) gets irritated because the girls can't say his name right and bursts out shouting "IT'S VIRGIL!!! VIRGIL, NOT VIRUJILU!!! ARE YOU INCAPABLE OF SAYIN' DAT??" and the dragon *picking his nose* intervenes *takes his finger out of his nose and points at DeVito/Virgil* "Hey don't you flame at them! I'm the only one who's gonna flame around here!" *spits some flames at the ceiling and some bits of concrete fall in the mobster's food*. Virgil says "Thanks fo' ruinin' my dinna'!" , lights a cigar, turns his back and goes to his room. The translator (called... uh... Sofa) shouts "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HOUR IT IS!! HOW CAN YOU TELL IT'S DINNER?? YOU CRAZY LITTLE MAN!!". An anime babe stops her asking her "Daijoubu?". She answers "...daijoubu desu yo" and the dragon says "Let him be, he'll come around..."
EPIC SCENE #1 starts after this. Virgil is shown in his room, looking out the window into space. Suddenly, a predator ship passes by them, heading towards the planet. Virgil/DeVito quickly gets off the bed and runs to the room they were eating in, saying "Somtn's goin' on here and i don't like it one bit!" Just as he finishes the motion tracker beeping sound is heard and a facehugger falls on the table from the hole in the ceiling the dragon had made earlier. The anime babes say "Sugoi!" and start clapping their hands in anticipation, but the dragon says "OH NO!" and stops the facehugger with his right hand as it jumps at his face, then quickly throws it in the air and Virgil shoots it with his Tommy Gun. They stay still for a while, then Sofa says "What the hell was that thing...?" and Virgil says "I don't know... but we aced'em! Let's land this piece of crap as soon as possible!" and they all leave the room without noticing the hole forming in the floor.
Then they finally get to the planet, they land, they get to Fury 161 and when they get to the first place, that would not really be shown in the movie, but at the sight of it one of the anime babes says "Koko wa... Kansasu dewa arimasen!". Then as they continue around there, they find out that the Newborn can put himself back together perfectly because he is a hybrid and can learn everything he sees other people doing because he is very intelligent, so they find everyone dead there. After they meet a few predators and aliens (you get to see Oprah doing some karate), the predators get punched to the ground by the aliens and one of them gets facehugged. Then the preds meet the newborn, one of them says "Want some candy?" and shows him a picture of the little boy he met in Predator 2, then he splashes him on the walls and they leave with the chestbursted predator and that's it for the pred scenes. Shocked by this event, the dragon runs off by himself, thinking he'll go mad! Then he meets the newborn again and spits fire at him, splashing him on the walls, but this victory doesn't last long, as the predalien, who had been watching everything, comes and impales him from the back. Then he lets him go. The barely alive dragon crawls back to the others who were impatiently waiting for him to return with some news (they didn't really know where he went) and tells them to watch out, because the predalien can not only stealth, but shapeshift too. Then he dies. The newborn pulls himself back together again and spits some fire at the predalien, who tries to do the mouth-to-mouth impregnation when he sees his big belly. Eventually they agree that they are both overpowered and become friends. The predalien shapeshifts into one of the anime babes and so the newborn learns to do this too, so he shapeshifts into the little boy he had seen in the picture. The predaliens lures Sofa away from the group and impregnates her, while the newborn goes for the mobster.
EPIC SCENE #2: The newborn, disguised as the little boy goes to Virgil and says "Want some candy?". Then he turns back into the newborn and they start to circle each other. Then the newborn stops and screeches at him. Virgil shouts "YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!!" and fires his Tommy Gun at the newborn, who spits fire, melting all the bullets before they get to him. Still, Virgil's gun manages to completely destroy the wall behind his adversary. Then the newborn turns back into the little boy and spits fire at the mobster. He runs away, as Virgil slowly falls to his knees burning, screaming "Stella!!! Stella!!" after which he falls down and dies.
After this epic scene, the newborn finds his friend, who was waiting for the 3 chestbursters to come out of that huge belly. When they do come out, the newborn inhales some pollen and sneezes, burning them. Their screams alert the two anime babes, who come quickly to see what happened. at first they splash the newborn on the wall with their awesome guns and powah!!! But then the predalien shapeshifts into an asian guy he had seen earlier and so the girls decide to take them to earth.
So that's it, the predalien and the newborn leave for Earth shapeshifted into the same asian guy, with two anime babes and they live happily ever after. The newborn becomes a cook and the predalien a gynecologist.