What DD says is fact. Trey, I have reason to believe you aren't the only victim of the anti-pie on this website right now. About 2 decades ago, there was one incident where one man and his wife began giving their neighbors homemade pies. Normal, if a bit creepy, you may think. Suddenly, the Men in Black had to intervene and entered the couple's home while they were asleep and began to fuck their shit up. Why did they do this? The MiB had revealed to my parents that the young couple was under the control of a recently emerging evil, the anti-pie. It wanted
them to give their neighbors this pie. See, their neighbors had never had pie before, being illegal immigrants. The pie wanted these immigrants to believe that pie is an evil American virus. Trey, your parents aren't immigrants, are they? Mine were.
Trey, look me in the eye and believe me when I tell you everything will be okay. Even if your parents aren't immigrants, the anti-pie had others plans to spread its sick fucking belief to Mexicans and then eventually Americans themselves. It's 3 decades later and the anti-pie is still at large, wreaking havoc in the kitchens of unexpecting middle-class families. That sick son of a bitch.
Trey, your life is in danger.
Have you experienced visions of bakery demons? I've a feeling that lot is behind this madness.
GASP. You can't just ask him that
. Either he'll deny the fact due to the pie telling him to do so, or he'll tell us he doesn't have visions because by now he honestly can't tell the difference between reality and bullshit!
Trey, don't believe his lies! You have to assume that everything you know is a lie. Except us, because we know the truth. Are there other desserts you dislike? False! It was the anti-pie!
His shenanigans have gone on for 3 generations now, and I plan on stopping him.
However, to do that, we have to stop all vessels of the anti-pie. Remember how I said you might not be the only victim on this forum? There is another.
But this other member - unknown at this moment, unfortunately - fronts that he likes pie. He even tells us to eat it. But he wants us to eat the fake pie. Trey, don't eat the fake pie.
However, my friends, he is simply a vessel for the real anti-pie! Do no harm the physical body of this intruder!
He is among us. He looks just like us.
I fear not even His Sqiudlyness The Great Squid of Hag may not be enough help to hold back this impending threat. I think it's time we call upon every
Off-Topic Thread deity to ever appear in our posts.