Alien vs Predator - Universe
 News   Forum   RPG   Clans   Members   Encyclopedia   Movies   Games   Books   Comics   Artwork 
HomeForum › OFF-TOPIC THREAD 5: LOL WUT?

Forum

OFF-TOPIC THREAD 5: LOL WUT?

Register or login to post
Deathdrop
2010-12-08 13:30:22
Yautja
This is the Off-Topic thread. You can talk about anything in here as long as it's off the topic of alien and/or predator.

Fair Warning: It gets weird in here. While there is no porn allowed, this thread should still be considered 18+ just in case.

Here is an archive of the older OT threads:

http://www.alienvspredator2.com/forum/6008.html

http://www.alienvspredator2.com/forum/6380.html

http://www.alienvspredator2.com/forum/6581.html

http://www.alienvspredator2.com/forum/6834.html



Picking up from our last discussion, Santa Claus is real. Discuss.
BloodHarpy
2010-12-08 14:06:44
Yautja
"Indeed. Santa is real. We are serious."

Smh smh smh. Your serious? Really really really serious? Prove it!
I'm your superbeast!
Deathdrop
2010-12-08 15:16:49
Yautja
"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic"
- Arthur C. Clarke

For starters, it is very likely that the being known variously as "Santa," "Father Christmas," and "Kris Kringle," (among many others) is an immortal being (extradimensional or extraterrestrial seem the most likely origins) Sightings of him date back to certain portrayals of the Norse godhead Odin, and he was probably active before that. With this in mind, many of the supposedly impossible feats performed by Santa become surprisingly plausible.

For example, a great deal of fuss is made over the supposed inability of of one man to deliver gifts to every household on Earth in only a few hours. This stems from the common portrayal of his vehicle as a mere sleigh pulled by flying Reindeer. This is, of course, ridiculous. Santa’s craft, being of extraterrestrial origin, is an incomprehensibly-advanced vehicle capable of superluminal travel. In other words, it occupies every point in the universe simultaneously, and is thus capable of appearing anywhere. Hitting every house on the planet in only a few seconds would be a simple task with such technology.

As for the “Reindeer,” this is simply a case of mistaken identity. Just as Santa himself maintains various humanoid disguises, the creatures (creature?) that power his craft appear as Reindeer (or various other animals) to human eyes. In reality, whatever being operates this craft is not likely native to this dimension. Without the disguise, the mere sight of such a creature would profoundly disturb 3 dimensional beings such as humans.

Another source of controversy is Santa’s contingent of elves (or Krampus, Zwarte Piet, or any of the other “helper” figures) and how they create the various gifts with limited resources. This is easily explained through genetic engineering: these beings are probably biomechanical creatures capable of manipulating advanced nanotechnology in order to create anything they require. These Machine-Elves probably live in a hive-structure similar (though far more advanced) to ants or bees. The ones in charge of building toys are the worker chaste, and the Krampus represent the warrior chaste. One need look no further than the stories of “Mrs. Claus” to find the Queen organism.

Finally, much is made of the workshop in the North Pole (or Denmark, or any of the myriad places it is said to reside.) When one considers the level of technology at Santa’s disposal (perception manipulation, FTL travel, taming 5D organisms, picotechnology, genetically engineering hive-minded “elves”) it is not hard to realize that Santa’s abode lies outside normal space-time. With all this in mind, the truth of Santa’s existence becomes impossible to deny.

And for you wiseasses who want to know “how does he get away with making PS3’s and stuff when that’s copyrighted?” re-read the above essay and think: If you were the CEO of one of these companies, would YOU fuck with that thing?
DeathWraith
2010-12-08 15:24:18
Xenomorph
Here's some photographic proof.


READ THE RULES


A song about me and skull_ripper that I wrote:
"Yeah, uh, yea yeah, uh, yeah, crackers gonna crack yeah, uh, yeah..."
(thats what I have so far hope u like it)
BloodHarpy
2010-12-08 15:30:33
Yautja
Yet again I ask myself this question;

WHY THE HELL DO I STILL COME HERE?!?!?!?!?!?!?


Also get me some brain bleach!
I'm your superbeast!
Deathdrop
2010-12-08 15:35:53
Yautja
1. You asked.

2. You damn well better have read that entire thing after I took 30 minutes to write it all.

3. You come here because you cannot deny the existence of the legendary "S'ynn-teirr-cl'owss"
ryanwethy
2010-12-08 15:49:09
Xenomorph
Hmm, I and probably everyone else never thought of Santa as highly advanced interdimensonal being. And that photographic evidence is indesbutable. With this evidence Santa is now undeniably real.
"I guess it's safe to say that I just saved the day."
Dr. Bob
BloodHarpy
2010-12-08 16:19:13
Yautja
I knew it. I've finally gone over the cuckoo's nest! For real this time.
I'm your superbeast!
DeathWraith
2010-12-08 16:59:49
Xenomorph
What the hell are you talking about, that was 3 years ago.


Also, has anyone noticed i got the 1000th post in the last OT thread? Fuck yea.

READ THE RULES


A song about me and skull_ripper that I wrote:
"Yeah, uh, yea yeah, uh, yeah, crackers gonna crack yeah, uh, yeah..."
(thats what I have so far hope u like it)
PREDATORv2
2010-12-08 20:05:45
Yautja
Hey, everybody is allowed to have a bad day, even santa.





shadowatching
2010-12-08 20:22:34
Undefined
Why is it so hard to get the last 3 achievements to finish Reach...UGH!
!PRICE CHECK! Cleanup Aisle Six! "Rotten Body Landslide"! And don't forget our special sale on "Every Bone Broken Chicken"! Hurry! Enjoy our tasty "Hammer Smashed Face"! Aisle Three.
"Don't take away my ability to have tantrums, alright? That you cannot have, alright, you ROBOT??!!
Deathdrop
2010-12-08 21:24:52
Yautja
@ PV2: Trust me, he's seen worse.

Here's the thing about Santa-

I love the fat old bastard, but he's gotta stop sneaking into people's houses like that. It's too predictable, and it leaves him too vulnerable. It'd be too easy for someone to wait by the chimney with a shotgun and end everything.

And from there, it's chloroform, then kidnapping by a cult, and then waking up nailed to a cross while That other guy replaces him.
BloodHarpy
2010-12-09 17:55:15
Yautja
“What the hell are you talking about, that was 3 years ago.”

^DeathWraith I will have been here for a year in February.


“Also, has anyone noticed i got the 1000th post in the last OT thread? Fuck yea.”

I’m gonna get the 1000th post next time! I got 1001 this time though so yeah.


Oh I took my Predator quiz and here are the results;



I took it twice, the first time around I selected the answers I would have selected and got Unblooded and this time around I selected the questions Harpy would’ve clicked on. Damn I’m good!

If Santa Claus exists then that means that Roc’s, Cerberi, Dragons, Werewolves, Werecats and Harpies exist!
I'm your superbeast!
Register or login to post

Alien Comics

Dish Network South Carolina
Guest
Like AvP Universe
Become a fan on
Facebook
Follow us on
Twitter
Movies
Alien vs Predator
AvP : Requiem
Games
Aliens vs Predator
Aliens vs Predator 2
AvP : Extinction
Aliens vs Predator 3
Books
Comics
Movies
Alien
Aliens
Alien³
Alien Resurrection
Prometheus
Games
Alien Trilogy
Colonial Marines
Books
Comics
Movies
Predator
Predator 2
Predators
Games
Predator : CJ
Books
Comics
Link to Us
Contact
:: Associates ::
AvP Unknown
Planete Alien
Prometheus-Movie
The Alien vs Predator - Universe website doesn't own or represent any of the trademarks.
Alien vs Predator, Alien, Predator and all related marks are trademarks of 20th Century Fox or of any of its corporations.
All trademarks and copyrights are owned by their respective owners