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Deathdrop

2010-08-21 03:37:30

Undefined

Crabs don't go on trees you know.

Anyway, the story is pretty interesting, if only half the movie weren't about how Bella doesn't do shit, if only that fucking Edward Cullen didn't have such a faggot face, if only vampires didn't sparkle, if only that fucking idiot dog weren't 16, it would have had potential. I'd still totally do that Alice though, even while she sparkles.

I'd like to ask the actor who plays Edward Cullen "How does it feel to be the face of faggotry for all eternity?"

Also, for anyone who hasn't read it... I present to you...

M̶̴̨̘͓̬͉̝̮̰̬͕̥̥̯͖̬̣̺͕̟̤ͦͫ͌̀̄̅̃͗ͥ̽̄ͪ̓̅̉ͧͪͫ̚͡Ŷ̴̢̨̉͋̂̍͠͏͙͔̝̙̼̦̳͙̩̖ ̢̘͙̲͇̖̩̖̖͚̺͙̯͂̽̌̂ͤ̋́ͮ͐ͯͯ͝ͅI͖̜̰̼͎̙̼̤͕̘̞̦͉͔͎͇̯̘͆ͭ̈ͨ̐̓ͯ̓̿̌ͭ̓̍̈́̔̃̀̚̚͢͡M̢̲͈͖̉́̋̌͌̃̑̄͌͆ͣͯͬ́͋ͦ͜͝͡ͅM̡̧̯̫̖͔̾͛͂̾̌̃̐ͪ͗̎̑ͧ͂̂͡͠Ȯ̢̊̒̀ͣͦ͗̿̊͐̚͢͏͢҉̪͚̫̖͈R̻̪̠͓̺̹̫̈́̄ͫ͌́͛̐͛̀T͛ͩ͊̓͐̓ͬ̔̏̑̃͑ͬ̅ͤ̀͗͊̚͏̷̷̟̹͚̰͓̗̝̻̹̭̞̟̗̩̭͈̠̭͡͝A̹̘̮͙̺̺̘̔ͣͦ̉̅̉ͫ̿̇ͧ̔̈́͑̌ͩ͆͟L̸͎̺͖̤̙͔̳̩͙̲̝̣̯̖̓͋͋̅͋ͬͪ̆ͦ̓͗͘

2010-08-21 12:35:40

Human - Alpha Draconis

Roflmao at above

yeah!!!!! go Team Alice! -cough-

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Sailor, My Bullet Punishes All Without Distinction

2010-08-21 13:43:36

Yautja

You are wrong. Crabs DO in fact grow on trees. These are crab trees, and they are from the age of dinosaurs, when man did not yet exist. Women did though, but they couldn't have kids, and therefore couldn't continue the species. As a result, they went extinct.

LITTLE DID THEY KNOW!

The crabs were intelligent. They came down from their brilliant crab trees to clone the women, and to create new women with penises who they called men.

And so it was that man and woman would fuck and fill the world with loud, annoying children. The crabs, however, did not expect high tide to come in, and were washed out to sea.

It is a little known fact that salt water makes animals stupid. You don't know this because you have been indoctrinated by the Liberal and/or Conservative media.

The only crabs to escape this horrible fate were the pubic "lice" that live in people's... pubes.

They got confused because they thought pubic hair looked like the hair on our heads, and so they assumed our genitals were where our brains were.

They are attempting to pilot us to the crab trees so that they might regain their power and raise their crabby legions from the briny deep and return to their home of Europa.

So you see, if you want to help the poor little scamps, the only way is to find the crab trees and rub your pubes all over them.

Unfortunately, the crab trees are few, and being guarded underground by the Brotherhood of Overall Shitty People. This evil cult is led by the Evil himself, Cyberhitler.

Brothers and Sisters... WE MUST FREE THE CRABS.

EDIT: This is kind of unrelated to the story above, but I just puked a bit of my Taco Bell burrito into the trash can. I got up to wash my mouth out, and the little bit of burrito puke was gone when I came back

This suggests it's alive, which is troubling.

2010-08-21 13:58:26

Undefined - Dark Blood Organization

I ate there a few times the last time I ate there I was hugging the toilet like a long lost best friend wonder if my stomach was gonna come up next. So now I refuse to eat at Taco Bell if I want a taco I find a place that makes REAL tacos. I think Harpy ate there and nearly puked her internal organs up too, not sure need to ask her again.

2010-08-21 14:03:36

Undefined

Oh my god, Deathdrop... YOU'RE A DEMOCRAT???

2010-08-21 14:07:46

Yautja

No, I'm a Cthulhucratican.

But more to the point: Trust in the Crabs. They will defeat the evils of Taco Bell.

Tacos were once a force for good in the world. They were given to the Aztecs by Quetzalcoatl, who dropped one while eating the still-beating heart out of a human sacrifice.

Which was kind of shitty of him, but that's beside the point.

Anyway, the Tacos were a thing of beauty until the Goosesteppin' Fuckballs got a hold of them. The GFSB's are behind Taco Bell, and are responsible for making the Tacos and Burritos and such taste like shit.

This way, people won;t know how good certain food can really taste, which will make them lose hope and stuff. Again, the Crabs are the key. They can save us.

2010-08-21 14:23:56

Yautja - Dark Blood Organization

^Ok I have to agree to that. I’ve eaten at truck stops before. Now here's the thing about truck stops: The food can be very food and worth swallowing or it can be real shitty and make you wanna rip you tongue out. I mean seriously how hard it is to cook a piece of beef liver? I can pull it off and when I’m done it doesn’t come out with that taste and texture of a leather boot! By the way I used to like Taco Bell when I was younger but I went there one time and got a burrito and it tasted like someone put cardboard and milk in it.

In response to LadyDeathStriker no that was Pea Soup Anderson’s remember? That was when I almost repainted the hotel bathroom we had to open the windows and I could barely stand for almost three days. Remember?

I'm your superbeast!

2010-08-21 17:55:25

Human - Dark Blood Organization

I know how you feel what's gross is the yellow stuff that comes out of your stomach after all the food and stuff comes out.

My résumé is one long death wish.

2010-08-21 18:13:48

Yautja

^ See, what freaked me out was that the chewed-up burrito meat seemed to basically pop out of my throat halfway down and shoot out of my mouth.

By the way, it turns out the chewed-up burrito didn't disappear; it just leaked through the trash down to the bottom of the can. It's grown quite a bit since the last time I looked at it; pretty much everything in the can is covered with disgusting brownish-yellow slime.

I watch with anticipation as to what it's next move will be.

EDIT: You know what's really sad? This has given me reason to revive my blog.

http://upchuck-somewherearoundbarstow.blogspot.com/2010/08/i-know-what-this-blog-is-for.html

2010-08-22 04:34:41

Undefined

You americans and your silly american food. I only eat european food, like the Hamburger, or potatoes.

2010-08-22 09:16:37

Yautja

I have never eaten at Taco Bell. If I want a taco of burrito I make one of go over to my mom's house, Mexicans don't even eat a Taco Bell! Ok maybe like four or five eat there now but we know that shit ain't real food. They make the crap under ground where sunlight doesn't shine and for stuff to be healthy it need sunlight and the shit don't get no fucking sunlight! You know what I heard about Tyson? The place the does all the chicken? They grind up the bones, beaks, blood feathers, cartilage and feet and use in the McDonalds chicken nuggets and sandwiches and they also use it with Burger King with the chicken tenders. So far Carl’s Jr didn’t use that shit you actually use chicken not the throw away stuff. Tyson doesn't throw anything away and the stuff they can't give to humans they put in dog and cat food which is disturbing as well.

"Marines never die! They just go to hell and regroup."

2010-08-22 09:30:24

Undefined

The only parts you can't give to humans are beaks, nails and hairs.