avp:Detour

ill be a Predator

ok fine but wat is your charachter name !!!

It seems okay. A tip from me is that if you're writing a story, that you write out government like it's supposed to be, as well as some other words.

humm..i guess Osogoth

ok here's chapter 1 for predators



CHAPTER 1


Osogoth awoke, got up and starred at his prize trophies he had all valuable kills and had been on great hunts xeno's,humans xenos were his particualry hardmeat for him, it was an honour to kill warriors but Osogoth had killed and had the carcass to prove it to his prized possesion was the huge carcass of a quenn xenomorphs head hanging in his trophy room.

he felt the bloodlust for another hunt and so scanned in his ship for any planets nearby for "hardmeat".A signal came up strong the planet was called EARTH in human tounge. A supposed ship crashed carrying xeno's in an EARTHEN desert.he grinned.He sent an transmitter to any nearby predators to join this hunt with him, Osogoth then turned to his ships controls and engaged his cloaking and set a course for EARTH. THen went to his equipment deck.
















remember to post a charachter marine aline or predator so i can keep writing(sorry namicole for shortness but i cant add any more until i get more people to join)

its cool dude. and nice chapter keep going! (you can use NPCs to keep it going though)

This is marine part.


chapter 1 p2.


"Everyone ready" sarge shouted,they nodded."Ok ladies down the rope move move move".They buzzing sound of the uh60-blackhawk copper made roark's ears pop.He sailed down the rope with the rest of the platoon when he got down to the ground he was called over by by the LT (lietanuet) "ok people we heard a report of a ship of unkwon origin crashed here in the nevada desert, which sits on front of us now.We are going to make an entry round an open gap in the side ok red team with me , sgt.hoskey you take gold, let's do this people. And remember stay in contact every 15 minutes ok and motion trakers on we do not have the info what type of 'people' we are dealing with here".
roark handled his automatic handgun and joined red team."flashlights on people" sarge said. And roark stepped into the ship with his squad.







more to come of both alien(if anone signs up)marine and predator for chapter 1.

SOUNDS GOOD!!! Only thing i would like to say is your chapters are seriouselly short. Its ok to have short chapters if you post chapters up very quicklly like maybe 3 chapters a week and if you have LOTS of chapters.

Roark doesnt have a pulse rifle, he only has a custom automatic handgun, called the AutoEagle, of which there is only one of in the world.

next part of chapter 1 here now in a minute

chapter1 prt4 Leandros8 smiled to himself it seems that Osogoth had sent him an invitation to join a great hunt hmm...... he was not going to let this predator take all the glory for himself enraged leandros set a course for earth ,he wondered what prey Osogoth had known about ? .He got his equipment blasted his ship to full power and set a course for EARTH.

In the equipment room leandros put on his hunting mask and felt on the side of it remembering the burnt metal when he first was blooded,it was an honour he collected his weapons.

He got into his drop pod and fell from the sky onto the course osogoth sent him. he fell upon the barren wastes of the desert land,got out of his pod and was looking for the entrance when he spotted a empty drop-pod so osogoth must already be hear leandros8 engaged cloaking and walked into the side of the massive cruiser.


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chapter1 part 5.

"Rourke" sgt.hoskey shouted"your our back man","bisanti your our lead"."sir" said their vox-man renyolds"im not getting in touch with gold team"dont worry son,said sarge were just getting some interfernce in this ship.Just as that the LT came on the horn(radio)SGT.hoskey our command post out side the ship cant pick up gold teams movement in there and we can't reach them on the vox either,so i need you and your men to scout them out their about 2000 clicks from your position so hustle people,SIR YES SIR sgt.hoskey shouted he began to converse on his squad ok people our main job is to now find gold team. ok.renyolds took the motion tracker out sgt ive got viduals up ahead of us i think it might be gold.


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chapter1 part6.



Osogoth had just finished skinning the so called 'leader' of these Oomans he was an easy kill.he looked at the skinned body you will hang here with the rest of your freinds and had the 8 marines hung up-side down and had taken the spine and head of another.Osogoth was about to pack them into his backpack when he heard oomans up ahead he quickly jumped high on a ledge and engaged his cloaking.

That looks SWEET dude. Only problem is you need to go like dis " Hello joe" said bob your going like "hello joe said bob. Its kinda hard to understand when there talking or when there moving or somthing. but overall GREAT chapter!

chp1 part7
.......................................................marines
......................................................
The marine aquad caustiously approached the signals ahead,Roark raissed his VFR.When the reached the signals the squad were stunned,"My god" sgt.Hoskey said,"sir" said renyolds"is this red team" he said while shining his shoulder lamp over the gory mess.Sgt.hoskey ignoring his question knelt down and looked over a strewn body on the floor,it seemed to be missing its spine and head but beside it on the floor lay something shiny,he picked it up and cleaned some blood off it,it read

"CURT.J.STEVEN"
68901850649
Sgt.hoskey's voice trembled" it's red team".
Hoskey stood up looked around him and said"ok everyone police these bodies and cut them...i mean red team down".Roark went over to see what hoskey had saw, it was his best friend in red team no wonder why he was so shocked,it was SSGT.Curtis.

20 minutes later and they had cleared up and stacked the dead marines up in a pile
they decided to leave the bodies but take the dog-tags instead
"ok everyone"sgt.hoskey said"it's been a ruff day for us all,so ive requested for us to leave this ship from command outside, so plan as follows we will extract ourselves from this ship,ill then be de-briefed about what happenened to red team and then finally a chopper will take us back to base,no word has come to what will happen to this ship though".
SUDDENLY!!!!
a blade cut through the air and sliced a marine in half "cover" sgt.hoskey shouted, and then it happened again.Marines panicked.Sgt.hoskey was screaming orders about falling back in alpha manuover,but roark couldnt hear him because some marines were emptying their magazines into the darkness not knowing were their attacker was.Renyolds used the motion tracker and shouted "multiple hostiles in random direction"
"which way" screamed sgt.hoskey," cant lock in sir",
"talk to me renyolds","Em....em... closing in 5..4...3 metres".SUDDENLY a black xenomorphjumped down oon front of sgt.hpskey he tried to fire his weapon but it jammed and the xeno pounced on him and head-bited him and snarled!!.when the squad heard this over the vid-link they scrambled saying "sarge is dead lets get the hell out'of here"and the snarl of xenomorphs from darkness that they could not see.Roark having witnessed the death of sgt.hoskey aimed his VFR at the xeno and fired a 3-round burst at it's dome shaped head the xeno fell over and was breathing heavy roark knew he wounded it severely, he went over to it and finished it off.ge was then about to redress the situation when an powerful invisble force knocked him to the ground.it then grabbed him and started to choke him, it de-cloaked itself and roared at roark's face,it was in looks by roarks eyes some sort of hunter.
Roark was passing out and knew he was going to die when for some strange reason it dropped him.Roark fell to the cold metal floor coughing and gasping for air.
......................................................

thats it for another chapter.
hope you like.

P.S any positive/critiscim to improve would be welcome.

that was awsome you really improved! only thing I can tell thats wron is you usually spelled "he" wlike this " ge new he was wounded" instead of " he new he was wounded" but Im worse than you are SOOO good job =)