Alien Vs Predator (Some werid F***ed up court case.)

Unknown, Undefined, 17 years ago

Alien vs. Predator was a landmark Supreme Court case on abortion rights. 'Tis a sordid story of love, betrayal, and male pregnancy. What, you're still reading this? I would've been scared off by "love".


Case Background
Alien and Predator once were a happy couple living in Liberal Groves, California. Alien, a young medical student working her way through medical school, and Predator, a young alchoholic working his way through liver failure. It was a match made in heaven. Until one day, after a night of passionate lovemaking, Predator discovered that he was pregnant.

Naturally he was shocked. They were not prepared to support a child. Plus, the fact that it would have to burst out of his chest was a bit of a downer. So Predator went to the local Abortions-ß-Us to 'remove' the fetus. A distraght Alien followed him, pleading to change his mind, but Predator would not budge. However, he was required to have a 24-hour waiting period and during this time Alien filed a lawsuit on the basis that her child had a right to life. A whole bunch of legal happened, and the case wound up at the Supreme Court.

The Trial & Coverage

The media descended in a frenzy. "Alien vs. Predator" became the media fad of the week, with feminist groups and 'right-to-lifers' on the side of Alien and 'pro-choice' groups and most men on the side of Predator. The Bush administration was asked to provide an opinion on the case, but given the nature of the problem it's completely understandable that George W. Bush hid in a bunker until three months after the case was over.

The Supreme Court pondered many issues during the deliberation. These included:

Does someone have the right to terminate a pregnancy to keep their chest from exploding?
Especially if he's male?

And the child will be a vicious alien as ugly as f**k?

The judges made a careful study of the issues, and finally came to:

The Decision

The vote tallies were as follows:


Chief Justice John Roberts: Alien

Justice John Paul Stevens: Predator

Justice Samuel Alito: Alien

Justice Antonin Scalia: Alien

Justice Anthony Kennedy: Predator

Justice David Souter: Predator

Justice Clarence Thomas: Alien

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg: Predator

Justice Stephen Breyer: Predator

Predator won in a close 5-4 decision. By this time, the media coverage had blown over, so nobody cared.

Aftermath

The major effects of this case were:

Abortions were now allowed for male pregnancy.

No guy ever, ever touched Alien again. Can you blame them?


Thanks to

http://uncyclopedia.org/ the creators of the Chuck Norris facts lol





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black_warrior, Undefined, 17 years ago

Crazy stuff. I almost thought you made it up until I saw the link. lol.

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Unknown, Undefined, 17 years ago

Isn't this a direct copy from http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Alien_vs_Predator? Yes, I belive it is.

Edit: That you for stating were you got it. There is technically no further use for this post.

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