My Book!
Unknown, Undefined, 17 years ago
Well with all the ideas for books giong around I just thought what the heck, I've been wanting to write a book for an awful long time so why not start now? so I did heres what I've got
CHAPTER ONE: THE EGG
Bastian grunted, the heavy box he was carrying took a lot of effort out of him to carry. But of course this was his job, and he had to do it whether he liked it or not. As he carried it toward its destination he couldn’t help but ask “What’s in this thing, marbleâ€Â? The man on the other side of the package grunted “don’t know but it sure is heavyâ€Â! With that they got to the door. Above the door there happened to be a pair of words the read LOS ANGELES RESEARCH FACILITY.
The doors opened and an elderly man stepped out. He wore a white lab coat, had graying hair and a pair of black gls on. On his shirt the words Pr. Isermen were printed out clearly. At the site of the package he smiled and said “Ahh, it’s arrived eh? “So it has†grunted Bastian. “That must be extremely heavy how about you put that down. Here’s your bill†replied Pr. Isermen hardly recognizing Bastian’s comment. “Finally†yelled Bastian and with that he hopped into a trailer and drove away! Take it inside Isermen said signaling the package as he still stared at where the trailer just was………..
Inside Pr. Isermen and some other scientist opened the package. They carefully moved its contents into a gigantic test-tube like container. The scientists all peered at it in awe. It was an egg, about a meter tall with a leathery Hyde. At its top there were four closed flaps. “Alright boys I want this thing tested and scanned by tomorrow morning, now get to workâ€Â.
By nightfall all of the scientists had ran their specific tests on it except for one. Daniel was still busy working away by the time everyone else were finished and leaving for home. It wasn’t that he was given harder work or anything like that; it was that he was a slow worker. So he toyed on with his scans and so forth until it came time for his final scan. One last scan and I can go home to a nice, comfy bed. He thought to himself. But as he worked he accidentally peered into the tube.
Instantly the four leathery flaps on top of the egg opened up to reveal a spider like creature inside. The thing leaped out wrapping its eight legs around Daniel’s head and wrapping its tail around his neck. Daniel struggled violently but was soon subdued. He fell to the ground the thing still latched on to his face.
The next morning Daniel woke up. He blinked a few times almost forgetting what had happened. He looked around and saw the spider like face hugger. He fell back and screamed, but then seeing that it was dead a sensation of relief fell over his tired body.
Suddenly Daniel's face was wreathed in pain; he toppled over screaming and wiggling. Instantly the mhirt was covered in blood. The blood had come from inside his shirt! His shirt suddenly torn open as a snake-like chestburster emerged.
Daniel toppled over, dead. The chestburster crawled out of his chest, in search of a suitable hide out. The alien crawled into a pipe in the ceiling seeking cover until it could molt. The chestburster also needed to feed, so the snake-like alien crawled deeper into the pipe until it got to the ceiling. From there the alien crawled into the ventilation system and checked room after room looking for an animal small enough to be eaten. Finally the chestburster found one! A small mouse, down in a room.
The chestburster crawled down through a pipe and hunted down the mouse finally catching it and feeding off it. Yet now the chestburster skin began to peel off. The alien hissed and retreated in to a corner. There the new alien stayed for the next few hours.
It was once again nightfall and the door opened. An elderly man walked into the room. It was Pr. Isermen. He sat down at his desk and rubbed his forehead, as if he had a headache. He began to clear papers off his desk making room for his next assignment when something uncurled behind him. Isermen felt its hot breath on his neck, he gasped.
A janitor, hearing a lot of commotion in the next room came to investigate. He opened the door and almost toppled over in fright. In front of him was another egg and around it the remnants of Pr. Isermen! The cleaner tried to step out of the room but the new drone dropped from behind him halting his advance.
The eggs flaps began to open and out leaped a face hugger. But not just any face hugger, this was a super face hugger. It was a meter and a half long! It latched on to the hapless mans face. He struggled but eventually fell over unconsceice. The alpha alien drone then strung up his unconsciece form to the wall with resin.
That night janitor woke up. He looked around only to find to his shock the room was covered in black intestine like resin. The man tried to look through the slightly opened door and to his vision the rest of that floor was also covered in resin. Then he remembered about the egg. He had to warn the other personnel about this trap before they too fell victim to these creatures.
The cleaner struggled to free himself but to no avail. “I have to warn them†he said still struggling to free himself. Suddenly he started to moan, and moan turned into a scream of pain. A cracking of bones was heard and the hapless mans head lolled to the side. Instantly a chestburster tore from his chest. But this chestburster had arms, legs and a crest on its head. It leaped out of his chest and immediately the alpha male drone began to tend to it. For this creature that tore from the janitors chest was not ordinary it was destined to become a Queen Alien. After being tended to the queen chestburster slithered into the darkness beginning its molting stage. The new alpha’s plan was working perfectly the trap was set and by tomorrow afternoon the Alpha would have many more brethren. But what the alien didn’t know was that it was being watched from space by creatures thirsting for the hunt.
Tell me what you think. If Ive done anything wrong tell me, Anythings worth mentioning cus I want this book to be the very best it could possibly be. Ill be done with chapter 2 soon, just to let yall know!
Hunt or be hunted....Kill or be killed....Check before you enter cus the chances are you aunt gonna make it...Welcome to the world of AVP
CHAPTER ONE: THE EGG
Bastian grunted, the heavy box he was carrying took a lot of effort out of him to carry. But of course this was his job, and he had to do it whether he liked it or not. As he carried it toward its destination he couldn’t help but ask “What’s in this thing, marbleâ€Â? The man on the other side of the package grunted “don’t know but it sure is heavyâ€Â! With that they got to the door. Above the door there happened to be a pair of words the read LOS ANGELES RESEARCH FACILITY.
The doors opened and an elderly man stepped out. He wore a white lab coat, had graying hair and a pair of black gls on. On his shirt the words Pr. Isermen were printed out clearly. At the site of the package he smiled and said “Ahh, it’s arrived eh? “So it has†grunted Bastian. “That must be extremely heavy how about you put that down. Here’s your bill†replied Pr. Isermen hardly recognizing Bastian’s comment. “Finally†yelled Bastian and with that he hopped into a trailer and drove away! Take it inside Isermen said signaling the package as he still stared at where the trailer just was………..
Inside Pr. Isermen and some other scientist opened the package. They carefully moved its contents into a gigantic test-tube like container. The scientists all peered at it in awe. It was an egg, about a meter tall with a leathery Hyde. At its top there were four closed flaps. “Alright boys I want this thing tested and scanned by tomorrow morning, now get to workâ€Â.
By nightfall all of the scientists had ran their specific tests on it except for one. Daniel was still busy working away by the time everyone else were finished and leaving for home. It wasn’t that he was given harder work or anything like that; it was that he was a slow worker. So he toyed on with his scans and so forth until it came time for his final scan. One last scan and I can go home to a nice, comfy bed. He thought to himself. But as he worked he accidentally peered into the tube.
Instantly the four leathery flaps on top of the egg opened up to reveal a spider like creature inside. The thing leaped out wrapping its eight legs around Daniel’s head and wrapping its tail around his neck. Daniel struggled violently but was soon subdued. He fell to the ground the thing still latched on to his face.
The next morning Daniel woke up. He blinked a few times almost forgetting what had happened. He looked around and saw the spider like face hugger. He fell back and screamed, but then seeing that it was dead a sensation of relief fell over his tired body.
Suddenly Daniel's face was wreathed in pain; he toppled over screaming and wiggling. Instantly the mhirt was covered in blood. The blood had come from inside his shirt! His shirt suddenly torn open as a snake-like chestburster emerged.
Daniel toppled over, dead. The chestburster crawled out of his chest, in search of a suitable hide out. The alien crawled into a pipe in the ceiling seeking cover until it could molt. The chestburster also needed to feed, so the snake-like alien crawled deeper into the pipe until it got to the ceiling. From there the alien crawled into the ventilation system and checked room after room looking for an animal small enough to be eaten. Finally the chestburster found one! A small mouse, down in a room.
The chestburster crawled down through a pipe and hunted down the mouse finally catching it and feeding off it. Yet now the chestburster skin began to peel off. The alien hissed and retreated in to a corner. There the new alien stayed for the next few hours.
It was once again nightfall and the door opened. An elderly man walked into the room. It was Pr. Isermen. He sat down at his desk and rubbed his forehead, as if he had a headache. He began to clear papers off his desk making room for his next assignment when something uncurled behind him. Isermen felt its hot breath on his neck, he gasped.
A janitor, hearing a lot of commotion in the next room came to investigate. He opened the door and almost toppled over in fright. In front of him was another egg and around it the remnants of Pr. Isermen! The cleaner tried to step out of the room but the new drone dropped from behind him halting his advance.
The eggs flaps began to open and out leaped a face hugger. But not just any face hugger, this was a super face hugger. It was a meter and a half long! It latched on to the hapless mans face. He struggled but eventually fell over unconsceice. The alpha alien drone then strung up his unconsciece form to the wall with resin.
That night janitor woke up. He looked around only to find to his shock the room was covered in black intestine like resin. The man tried to look through the slightly opened door and to his vision the rest of that floor was also covered in resin. Then he remembered about the egg. He had to warn the other personnel about this trap before they too fell victim to these creatures.
The cleaner struggled to free himself but to no avail. “I have to warn them†he said still struggling to free himself. Suddenly he started to moan, and moan turned into a scream of pain. A cracking of bones was heard and the hapless mans head lolled to the side. Instantly a chestburster tore from his chest. But this chestburster had arms, legs and a crest on its head. It leaped out of his chest and immediately the alpha male drone began to tend to it. For this creature that tore from the janitors chest was not ordinary it was destined to become a Queen Alien. After being tended to the queen chestburster slithered into the darkness beginning its molting stage. The new alpha’s plan was working perfectly the trap was set and by tomorrow afternoon the Alpha would have many more brethren. But what the alien didn’t know was that it was being watched from space by creatures thirsting for the hunt.
Tell me what you think. If Ive done anything wrong tell me, Anythings worth mentioning cus I want this book to be the very best it could possibly be. Ill be done with chapter 2 soon, just to let yall know!
Hunt or be hunted....Kill or be killed....Check before you enter cus the chances are you aunt gonna make it...Welcome to the world of AVP hyroglphsarenice, Undefined, 17 years ago
:* ( no apreciation... i started this book on site thing... ahh well i still am writing it just have had no real time...
in any case this is still a good read!
(for simplistic use just call me hyro)
in any case this is still a good read!
(for simplistic use just call me hyro)
Unknown, Undefined, 17 years ago
Heres the next chapter hope ya like it!
CHAPTER 2: The Hunters and Traps
Up in space a huge clan ship orbited earth. Inside a creature walked through the ships many hall ways. He was called Rotaris by his clan brothers. He was serious and always prepared. Soon he reached a door and was greeted by his brother Brutaris. Rotaris simply growled in greeting to his brother as they walked through the open door way. They approached a holographic display of Los Angeles as Uraki chi joined them. Uraki chi, Rotaris’s hunting partner was more of the quiet one of the three.
The three stepped up to the bright, red hologram of Los Angeles, the new hunting ground. The hologram zoomed in on a certain building, Los Angeles Research Facility. “This is where the hunt truly shall begin†Uraki said with a growl. Rotaris looked at him, a serious look on his face and shook his head in agreement.
Brutaris’s wrist blades violently ripped out of their wrist cache, Utachi’s shurikens opened up revealing their all too deadly blades and Rotaris pulled on his battle scarred mask, its eyes gleaming………………………..
Brutaris gave a mighty roar, it was a terrible unearthly roar. The three then walked into their separate launch pods. They tapped a few controls and the doors closed. The pods jettisoned, it would take an entire week to hit the surface. Meanwhile it was time for a trap to be sprung………..
It was morning and many of LA’s research facilities scientists were arriving at work. They entered the building expectin usual day of work but when the unfortunate humans walked through the door they got anything but a usual day at work. First of all the atmosphere was hot and humid. Second the walls and floor were covered in black intestine like resin. And finally and most shockingly, a twenty-five foot alien queen stood over them.
The Queen roared, many of the scientists and other personnel were so terrified they couldn’t move a muscle as the hideous face huggers leaped out of their eggs at their shocked victims. Many of the personnel were face hugged right then and the ones that hadn’t made a run for the doorway. But even though terrified, one the scientists stopped at the front doors to see ooze sliding down its surface. The terrified woman gazed up to see a drooling alpha male alien staring down at her.
The alphas spined tail lashed out sending the hapless women flying through the air next to the Queen and an unopened egg. She tried to get up and run but the Queen’s tail tied her up and held her right in front of the egg and its deadly contents.
The eggs four flaps began to open showing a curled up face hugger inside. The woman screamed and the hugger leaped out latching on to her face. She struggled but was soon fell out of consieceness. The Queen then dropped her on the cold, resin covered floor and went to join the host hunt.
The Los Angeles research facility was filled with the screams of hapless humans and the screeches of blood thirsty aliens as the panicking personnel were picked off one by one by the Queen and her first born son the Alpha.
They soon had caught every single one of the hapless humans and strung up their face hugged forms to the wall with resin. But one man still hadn’t been captured, he hadn’t even arrived……………..
Senior Professor Jacob Altis arrived late for work. This was simply because he had been sick for the last few days and was now eager to finish his work. He pulled into the parking lot suspecting nothing. He walked up to the door and began to open it.
What lay beyond those doors made his eyes go wide with a combination of shock and horror. What he saw was his comrades strung up on walls by black intestine like resin. Some of those few had hideous hairless spiders attached to their faces. All who didn’t had suffered a horrid death. Apparently something had ripped out of their chest. Jacob knew exactly what had happened here. He started breathing hard, Jacob backed up only to here menacing growl. He felt the things hot breath on his back. His eyes went wide. The thing screamed, it was the last thing he ever heard.
CH 3 s coming soon guys dont worry
P.S. Jed Chrizt I always did want to write an avp book but I never really got to but seeing how every ones writing now thought Id just jion the fun.
P.S.S. Besides couldnt let you write a book without a little friendly competition right.
Hunt or be hunted....Kill or be killed....Check before you enter cus the chances are you aunt gonna make it...Welcome to the world of AVP
CHAPTER 2: The Hunters and Traps
Up in space a huge clan ship orbited earth. Inside a creature walked through the ships many hall ways. He was called Rotaris by his clan brothers. He was serious and always prepared. Soon he reached a door and was greeted by his brother Brutaris. Rotaris simply growled in greeting to his brother as they walked through the open door way. They approached a holographic display of Los Angeles as Uraki chi joined them. Uraki chi, Rotaris’s hunting partner was more of the quiet one of the three.
The three stepped up to the bright, red hologram of Los Angeles, the new hunting ground. The hologram zoomed in on a certain building, Los Angeles Research Facility. “This is where the hunt truly shall begin†Uraki said with a growl. Rotaris looked at him, a serious look on his face and shook his head in agreement.
Brutaris’s wrist blades violently ripped out of their wrist cache, Utachi’s shurikens opened up revealing their all too deadly blades and Rotaris pulled on his battle scarred mask, its eyes gleaming………………………..
Brutaris gave a mighty roar, it was a terrible unearthly roar. The three then walked into their separate launch pods. They tapped a few controls and the doors closed. The pods jettisoned, it would take an entire week to hit the surface. Meanwhile it was time for a trap to be sprung………..
It was morning and many of LA’s research facilities scientists were arriving at work. They entered the building expectin usual day of work but when the unfortunate humans walked through the door they got anything but a usual day at work. First of all the atmosphere was hot and humid. Second the walls and floor were covered in black intestine like resin. And finally and most shockingly, a twenty-five foot alien queen stood over them.
The Queen roared, many of the scientists and other personnel were so terrified they couldn’t move a muscle as the hideous face huggers leaped out of their eggs at their shocked victims. Many of the personnel were face hugged right then and the ones that hadn’t made a run for the doorway. But even though terrified, one the scientists stopped at the front doors to see ooze sliding down its surface. The terrified woman gazed up to see a drooling alpha male alien staring down at her.
The alphas spined tail lashed out sending the hapless women flying through the air next to the Queen and an unopened egg. She tried to get up and run but the Queen’s tail tied her up and held her right in front of the egg and its deadly contents.
The eggs four flaps began to open showing a curled up face hugger inside. The woman screamed and the hugger leaped out latching on to her face. She struggled but was soon fell out of consieceness. The Queen then dropped her on the cold, resin covered floor and went to join the host hunt.
The Los Angeles research facility was filled with the screams of hapless humans and the screeches of blood thirsty aliens as the panicking personnel were picked off one by one by the Queen and her first born son the Alpha.
They soon had caught every single one of the hapless humans and strung up their face hugged forms to the wall with resin. But one man still hadn’t been captured, he hadn’t even arrived……………..
Senior Professor Jacob Altis arrived late for work. This was simply because he had been sick for the last few days and was now eager to finish his work. He pulled into the parking lot suspecting nothing. He walked up to the door and began to open it.
What lay beyond those doors made his eyes go wide with a combination of shock and horror. What he saw was his comrades strung up on walls by black intestine like resin. Some of those few had hideous hairless spiders attached to their faces. All who didn’t had suffered a horrid death. Apparently something had ripped out of their chest. Jacob knew exactly what had happened here. He started breathing hard, Jacob backed up only to here menacing growl. He felt the things hot breath on his back. His eyes went wide. The thing screamed, it was the last thing he ever heard.
CH 3 s coming soon guys dont worry
P.S. Jed Chrizt I always did want to write an avp book but I never really got to but seeing how every ones writing now thought Id just jion the fun.
P.S.S. Besides couldnt let you write a book without a little friendly competition right.
Hunt or be hunted....Kill or be killed....Check before you enter cus the chances are you aunt gonna make it...Welcome to the world of AVP Jed-Chrizt, Undefined, 17 years ago
I wonder what inspirted ya? :p. It's good so far I reckon, few errors.
"Dikana, let them hate, as long as they fear"
"Dikana, let them hate, as long as they fear"
Unknown, Undefined, 17 years ago
Okay, thanks Crow Ill edit that right now!
Hunt or be hunted....Kill or be killed....Check before you enter cus the chances are you aunt gonna make it...Welcome to the world of AVP
Hunt or be hunted....Kill or be killed....Check before you enter cus the chances are you aunt gonna make it...Welcome to the world of AVP Crow, Undefined, 17 years ago
Very nice, I see a couple of spelling errors and a few grammar mistakes here and there, but on the whole it is very good.
A bit of constructive criticism: You might want to lay off on the literary repetition a little. I see several words recurring in one sentence to the other, which makes the reading a little bland (for example, you use "suddenly" to open two of your sentences in a row).
Also, you might want to change around the representation of your individuals and creatures. Using "it" and "he" too much gets a little boring, perhaps changing those around to things such as "the corporal" would be better.
"If anything in this life is certain, if history has taught us anything, it is that you can kill anyone." - Michael Corleone
A bit of constructive criticism: You might want to lay off on the literary repetition a little. I see several words recurring in one sentence to the other, which makes the reading a little bland (for example, you use "suddenly" to open two of your sentences in a row).
Also, you might want to change around the representation of your individuals and creatures. Using "it" and "he" too much gets a little boring, perhaps changing those around to things such as "the corporal" would be better.
"If anything in this life is certain, if history has taught us anything, it is that you can kill anyone." - Michael Corleone
Unknown, Undefined, 17 years ago
Thanks guys and dont worry the next chapter will be out soon.
Hunt or be hunted....Kill or be killed....Check before you enter cus the chances are you aunt gonna make it...Welcome to the world of AVP
Hunt or be hunted....Kill or be killed....Check before you enter cus the chances are you aunt gonna make it...Welcome to the world of AVP hajou3, Undefined, 17 years ago
its really good i think, except for a few spelling errors but i cant wait till the next chapter.
The only thing in space that can hear you, is the thing making you scream... Me
The only thing in space that can hear you, is the thing making you scream... Me
TITANOSAUR, Undefined, 17 years ago
looks pretty dern good there bubba.
http://z3.invisionfree.com/thehiveofthealiens
I destroyed stuff... it was cool!
http://z3.invisionfree.com/thehiveofthealiens
I destroyed stuff... it was cool!