-Bloo-,
Undefined,
14 years ago
...Well, now you've just gone and screwed with the whole equation.
I'm assuming you meant to say bikinis (as I've googled whatever you put down and found no real results). Are they actually looking great in a bikini or are they fat?
At this point our equation is split into two answers:
#1 -
Fat, as we all know, creates far greater issues than we'd like to admit. Actaully, we've already admitted it, but it's fun this way.
I cannot, for the life of me, explain a fat ASIAN girl wearing a bikini as we all know Asian girls wearing bikinis are rather petite, so I'm going to, in the case of this problem, use a Caucasian girl instead. This, of course, further splits answer #1 into two more answers.
#1.1 -
Fat Asian girls wearing bikinis do not exist. Therefore, the Asian girl would not be wearing anything, and that would allow the Elder to easily dispatch of this enemy.
OR the girl would not exist at all and the Elder wouldn't be fighting anyone but the bear, the rhino and the 15 tiger adults. Without the Asian girls, many factors are taken out of the battle, far too many for me to be explaining here. The Elder would have the upper hand for most of the fight, and at the point in the battle it will come down on three results which I will explain later in the post.
#1.2 -
Now. Fat girls that are of the Caucasian race. Hmm...
Fat girls already posess a charisma value of -3, so with a bikini on that becomes much lower than you can imagine. However, any NPC that reaches a karma value lower than -10 automatically gains a +5 point increase in Magic. Fat girls wearing bikinis already have 65 in magic, so that becomes a 70, which allows them to learn Auto-Nullify Holy. In other words, overly-obese people do not have the luxury of having God save them.
It also decreases physical defense, however, by whatever their Magic is divided by 3. The Elder would then be able to attack them with fire magic.
However, the bear on the tricycle has a 45 in Magic and 89 in Magic Defense. Because it is on its tricycle, it knows Defend, in which it takes the Magic damage in place of the actual target in the same party.
But, let's say the Elder has knocked the tricycle out of the fray. The bear no longer knows Defend and the fat girl is no longer a threat.
That leaves the tigers. Their fur has 57 DR and a +1 increase in STR and END. They can withstand all of the Elder's physical attacks. The Elders knows this and uses Holy on them instead of the fat girls because, as stated before, Holy damage is super-effective against tiger adults. The battle is done, the Elder triumphs once again.
#2 - The hawt Asian girl already has a charisma value of 10. With the item No Clothing they gain +2. With this equipped, they can wear either sunglasses or a bikini, which we all know isn't a real piece of clothing. This further complicates matters and splits the answer into two once again.
#2.1 - The hawt Asian girl in a bikini wearing sunglasses has a charisma of 12 and a 45 in magic defense. As of now they're susceptible to any magic spell, including Holy. However, the tiger adults posess the ability Defend whenever an ally in their party has a magic defense of 37 or lower. The bear also gains a +3 in PER and his weapon, in this case his tricycle, becomes enchanted and he now gains the ability Slap. Slap allows for a double-hit in terms of a physical attack, and the bear has a STR value of 8.
Now. The rhino. We've been ignoring the rhino simply because Holy nullifies dark magic. But now, as the bear has gained Slap, the nullification factor is removed from the battle. Not only that, but everyone on the battle field gains a +2 in Magic.
Now, the Elder is fucked if he isn't wearing Pumice. This splits the answer.
#2.1.1 - The Elder simply loses.
#2.1.2 - The Elder once again nullifies dark magic. Not only this, but he actually gains health whenever dark magic damage is thrown at him! He wins the fight.
#2.2 - The hawt Asian girl wearing nothing has a charisma value of 10. This cripples the heart of the Elder ONLY when the enemy Asian girl has a charisma value of 10 while not wearing anything. As we all know, the Asian girl rarely wears just nothing.
The tiger adults gain -2 in the STR department when in the sight of the Asian girl wearing nothing, but also gain +30 in health, +45 in Magic, and +7 in END and STR.
Because the tiger adult now has a 10+ in STR and END, the bear gains a 99 in all of his skills, but loses any special attributes such as Defend and Poison.
The rhino is taken out of the scenario simply because he is nullified.
And because the bear has perfect stats, he morphs with one of the tigers to become Man Bear Pig, the secret super boss of the game I'm explaining. He's like Ozma, but in the form of a big bear.
However, this renders half of Ozma's attacks useless as that same half is comprised of dark magic. The same happens to Man Bear Pig. Now he's just weakened himself.
This, in turn, coincides with result #1.
#3.1 - They all die.
#3.2 - Only the Elder dies.
#3.3 - The enemy party loses. The Elder is victorious and gains the title Messiah.
Only then does he get the chance to acquire the Ultima Weapon.