AVP-RELATED THREAD OMG

Deathdrop, Yautja, 3 years ago

So this might be fun. This is basically the headcanon fanwank thread, wherein we valiantly attempt to waste everyone's time by fitting absolutely every A/P-related thing ever into a single cohesive universe. RETCONS AHOY! Why do the Engineers look different in Prometheus vs. the Destroying Angels comic? How come the Preds from the AVP2 game can see normally? Why does Alien vs. Predator vs. Terminator even exist, like what the fuck you guys. DISCUSS, YOU BEAUTIFUL SLUTS, YOU.

DeathWraith, Yautja, 3 years ago

EZ. The predators from the games are not real predators. They are terminators sent from the future to make sure no humans that have come in contact with a predalien survives, because once they get this idea in their heads, they will start making movies like AvP:R. Because in the future, Skynet has come under the control of Batman and has been repurposed as a recreational software meant to wipe out prostitution by replacing human hookers with robotic ones. And so it was rebranded and made into a sort of theme-park known as Wayne's Land of Youthful Poonani, which, in a faulty recording from the future, can be misheard as "Weyland-Yutani".

-Bloo-, Yautja, 3 years ago

THEORY: The reason there are different types of Aliens is because there isn't. They're all the same type of Alien, but each person views them differently. They have no real form and they never have. The Newborn looked like it did because we were looking at it through Ripley's eyes, and that's what she thinks humans look like. That's what every human looks like to her--just a big reversed vagina. When she saw all her clones in the lab, those clones were all deformed, so she saw them as regular humans rather than as Newborns, which is why she was so disgusted with them: Regular humans are super ugly to her. But when she sees regular humans, they look like Newborns, and she loves Newborns which is why she was being so affectionate with the Newborn. She didn't kill it because it was ugly, she killed it because it was unable to properly speak like other humans. What the fuck does "UGGHGGHDGJDAHAHITHURTSSOMUCHWHYAREYOUSQUEEZINGMETHROUGHAWINDOW" mean? I would kill you if you talked to me like that. Just like Ripley did.

Here's what I don't get, though. If they landed in France at the end of the movie,

DeathWraith, Yautja, 3 years ago

Are you trying to say the Newborn was actually Hitler? Hmmm... It was definitely a white supremacist. Killed the queen just because she was black.

-Bloo-, Yautja, 3 years ago

Hitler only spoke like that because I can't understand 1930s German*, and also, he and his buddies** yelled a lot. Therefore, he sounds exactly like the Newborn. I would definitely kill him if he talked to me like he normally would.

*Is there a big difference*** between '30s German and modern German like how there's a noticeable difference between '50s American English and modern American English? I don't know anyone who still sounds like old-timey radio narrators and anyone from The Outsiders.

**He later killed his buddies, so that's just another thing that makes him like the Newborn.

***Of course there's a difference, I just don't know what it is****.

****Don't tell me to Google it, I'm going to die before I do efficient shit like that.

Anyway, Hitler would kill children but Predators won't. Predators are better people than Hitler. Is this proven throughout the franchise or are there child killers who don't care about honor? What does this mean about honor and is honor portrayed the same in every media? Are there different honor codes? Does the honor code even exist?

Hunter_Predator, Yautja, 3 years ago

Come on, the reason the Predators can see normally in AvP2 is because it's a game, just like how the Xenos can too and we don't know much of anything about their vision (if they even have any legitimate "vision" and not some other creepy unknown Alien sensory thing because that's what they're all about) aside from those chase cams in Alien 3. But there were no aura pheromone things. It's literally because it's a game, do you know how much my eyes hurt from the hundreds of hours I spent looking through that damn red vision to see Xenos? good god...

-Bloo-, Yautja, 3 years ago

Yeah, but we have to be difficult and come up with an in-universe reason that sounds like it makes sense but probably doesn't make any sense. (Is the pheromone thing even legitimate?)

Since we have different vision modes that look weird to us, maybe Predators have a certain vision mode where it looks like how we see things, but to them it's just as much a strain on the eyes as thermal vision or infrared is to us.

Anyone else think Predator is like Planet of the Apes but in reverse?

DeathWraith, Yautja, 3 years ago

So in Planet of the Apes, humans experiement on apes, but the apes become sapient, which now makes them the humans' natural predator.

However, in Predator, Arnold Schwarzenegger, who is a big ape, becomes sapient, which makes him the Predator's natural predator, thus ensuring the survival of all humans, who later kill Harambe.

I guess I can see how they are related.

DeathWraith, Yautja, 3 years ago

DeathWraith, Yautja, 3 years ago

Nice. I love pure girls.

-Bloo-, Yautja, 3 years ago

Would Predators attack pure human girls because our idea of "pure" conflicts with their idea of pure, thus causing them to attack pure girls for being a threat to their culture and livelihood?

Edit: Would you attack pure girls for being a threat to your culture and livelihood?

Edit: Never mind, lots of people already do that. We deserve to get hunted, honestly.

DeathWraith, Yautja, 3 years ago

Wait a minute... They ask little boys if they "want some candy". They're called Predators, just like on "To Catch A Predator". I'm not saying it's the whole indisputable truth, in fact this may be just a long series of two coincidences, but I think we're on to something here. We've discovered a previously unexplored aspect of Yaut'ja culture.

DeathWraith, Yautja, 3 years ago

Yea, sure, you can talk about anything AvP-related here.

DeathWraith, Yautja, 3 years ago

I don't think I've ever played the full game in multiplayer, only the demo. And since I didn't really like the game mechanics, I didn't enjoy it too much.

-Bloo-, Yautja, 3 years ago

Hey guys how's Isolation? I haven't played it yet. How's that game Isolation?

-Bloo-, Yautja, 3 years ago

You think the DLC is worth playing? I hear it's not much compared to the actual game--just something for fans of the original movie.

DeathWraith, Yautja, 3 years ago

Well, that's alright, there are no wrong opinions here, this is a safe space where you can like Aliens more than Alien, you know, nothing wrong with that, you can like whatever you want, no one is going to challenge you for it, nothing of that sort, it's all fair game here, you can like what you like, it's no problem, it's not gonna get you in trouble or anything, there's really nothing to worry about when it comes to that, even though, I mean, you know, it's clearly, like, UGH, ANYWAY.

I saw a bit of the DLC one time and it looked very nice, I think you would definitely enjoy it, Bloo. It feels great to be on the Nostromo.

-Bloo-, Yautja, 3 years ago

I still think Aliens is more enjoyable than Alien (and honestly, even Resurrection is more enjoyable if only for that whole "THIS IS SO FUCKING STUPID AND IT'S AMUSING" factor), but Alien is the better made film. It really just depends on what mood I'm in, though, 'cause sometimes I get really into Alien and sometimes it's just boring.

@Metal: That's good to know. I'd probably enjoy the hell out of the DLC then.

I even bought the game on Steam like 4 months ago but I still haven't played it.

supersonicman96, Yautja, 3 years ago

I'm trying to save up for avp 2 the game =D I've heard nothing but good things. Why do you guys think aliens have acid blood? That can't help with oxygen right?

DeathWraith, Yautja, 3 years ago

I don't know why you would buy it other than as a collection thing, since it's pretty much out of circulation. If you want to try the game before buying it, just get it from TPB or something, it's not on steam or on gog.

DeathWraith, Yautja, 3 years ago

GET YER ALIEN ISOLATION COLLECTION FOR $9 or season pass for 4.

The bundle is only gonna last a couple of days, so if it's two or more days after this post was made, it's probably not there anymore.