I have just read the first issue of "Archie vs. Predator..."

... And I'm still not sure if this comic actually exists, or if I just hallucinated the whole thing. AVP (heh) is, without a doubt, the strangest Predator story I've ever read, and that's the thing-it IS a predator story. Much in the same way that the original Predator movie felt like an alien monster invading and derailing a standard 80's action movie, this feels like a Predator invading and derailing a nice, wholesome, comedic good time with Archie and the gang.

It kills two people. I'm serious. The two snooty rich kids who make fun of Archie and the gang for going to public school? The predator fucking kills them. You don't even see it happen, just see the gory aftermath via their mutilated corpses hanging from a tree.

Now, in a normal Predator story, this would be no big deal; almost run-of-the-mill, in fact. But here? In an Archie comic, with retro cartoony, 50's-style art? Where the characters are whacky teenagers who wouldn't even think to swear, let alone battle an alien hunter? The contrast is jarring enough to give you whiplash.

Oh, and the Predator is a teenager and has the hots for Betty. Did I mention that little detail? You'd think it would be played for laughs, but... like... The Pred itself is played completely straight. This hideous, murderous extraterrestrial monster wants to get between Betty's legs, and he's gonna slaughter all of Riverdale to do it.

I don't even understand where they can possibly go from here. If they were going by the rules of the Archie universe, they could do some whacky and the Predatoe would leave in a huff, but they're not, so... I mean, I guess Archie is gonna have to kill the thing? Which, clearly, they're not gonna do, soooooo maybe this is it for Riverdale?

Christ. What a weird comic.