In-Character Discussion Thread

...Bloo entered the bar.

The rusted door behind her creaked violently as it tried several times to close, but each time it was met with the side of Bloo's tail slithering through the entryway. Finally, the door began to settle as Bloo found her seat.

It was a busy night.

Lots of Predators. But she wasn't concerned. Fighting wasn't allowed in this city. In fact, it was illegal, and we all know that no one breaks the law ever.

She'd spent the last several months tracking down Fire Hunter, her nemesis, because he stole all of her eggs and dumped them in the ocean. Each time she "found" him, it was a Hive Node set on fire. Sometimes there was a Predator head on a stump right in the middle of the Node. Dude was a sick fuck.

Bloo only came to this bar 'cause she was running out of leads, and she wanted to relax. But then there's this asshole right next to her, stirring up shit because of he was pissed off about something. His name was...

......Coldthrone sat on the bar stool and grumbled as a Xeno Queen sat down next to him, his damn golfcart had been hit by a dump truck taking all his personal belongings with it, at least he still had his Yautja hound that sat curled up at his feet. He downed another drink and looked over to the queen and winked, he'd had way too much to drink already and she looked really sexy right now, like hundred dollar hooker good.

He ordered a pudding cup and said "One for the pretty lady too" and gestured to her. He wondered what kind of pudding he'd get since he failed to specify, hopefully chocolate. He looked up as someone entered through the second door, they were........

... not very well dressed, thought DeathWraith, as he was directed the tip of his tail through the back room, trying to find the pudding dispenser. "Vanilla..." he decided. "This guy's yellow, he definitely wants vanilla."

DeathWraith had only recently started on this job as a barman, but he already felt like he was doing great. His ability to wait for long periods of time and listen without actually paying attention really recommended him. He had been a praetorian for some time now and he really didn't miss being part of the actually-working-class. Perhaps because he had sacrificed the parts of his brain that dealt with missing things when he evolved.

"Here you go." he said to the drunk predator who seemed unable to open one of his eyes, as if he'd tried to wink, but then forgot about it halfway through. He placed the two cups of vanilla pudding on the counter, trying to avoid facing the Queen directly. She was making him very nervous, not only because she could feel that he was nervous, but because the last time he was this close to a Queen, there were people with guns pointing at them and he ran into a wall, but that didn't do much good, so he tried to chase some of them, but he wasn't really good at it, and then he stumbled and fell down a hole. By the time he got up, the whole hive had moved on without him.

"She can probably hear everything I'm thinking, calm down, calm down, she can hear this, stop thinking about how you fell in the hole, stop thinking, stop thinking, she can hear you thinking, damn it, i hate Queens, SHIT, I shouldn't have thought that, move along, just pretend you don't know that she can hear you thinking this, just move along..."

He went to the corner and started sweeping the counter with a white piece of cloth, when he noticed a fly. He tried to catch it, but failed, causing it to drop right into someone's drink. This person's name was...

War grabbed his drink and downed it all in one go. After wiping his maw, War noticed the strange face the barman was making at him. He set the glass down and stalked off to the other side of the bar, leaving the barman gaping at him.

Normally he doesn't drink, but after the past few days, War decided a warm, glowing feeling in his belly was just what the doctor ordered. Since happy hour, War had managed to keep down two shots of some liquor he completely forgot the name of and three mixed drinks. He wasn't drunk, ok maybe he was getting there, but he could walk straight enough (if straight was a zig zag). He glanced back at the bar to see a Queen being offered a pudding cup by a rather drunk Pred who seemed to have no concept of boundaries.

Not paying attention to who or what he was walking towards, War bumped into....

Snowman.

"The fuck?"

Some asshole bumped into you. You can't fight here, so you best not cause trouble. You decide to not do anything, and walk away like a good girl. God, you hate people. You decide to sit down, and order a drink. You yell something at the bartender. The bartender looks busy with this wired hunter and this old fat whore. You decide to play pool instead. Of course, like any good bar, there is a pool table.

"Hello"

You see somebitch standing there, thier name was...

Super.

"Hello." The one eyed Predator looked at the Serpent. Any other day, he would have killed these creatures, making a trophy of them. Now however in this city, he would have to tolerate them. No reason not to be friendly as well. It curled it's lips at him, which was the closes a Serpent could come to showing anger. Super walked away, deciding not to be bothered with it. He sat down and decided to watch the xeno play pool, which was very humorous seeing it use it's large clawed hands. He felt a little unease when he glanced at it's tail, remembering horrid memories of an old Xenomorph. Just then, the doors swung open to reveal...

DarkLioness strolling in standing up right, tail swaying behind her like it had a mind of its own, with an air of confidence about her. She paused and hissed in dismay and what may have been disgust as she looked around the bar. Great, there were Hunters in the bar including one that seemed to be drunk out of his mind, then there was that weird dog looking thing curled up by his feet. Oh well she'd just have to put up with her sworn enemies, after all fighting was against the law in this here city. Besides there were other Xenomorphs in the bar so that was good, so she walked over to the bar and took a seat on the right-hand side of a Queen that seemed to be annoyed. DarkLioness took a seat and glanced over at the pool table, there was a Xenomorph attempting to play a game involving balls and a stick. The game didn't interest her at all, the impaired Hunter was muttering about something and the Queen didn't look interested in communicating with anyone at the moment. That reminded her that she came in her to have some drinks and maybe get a bite to eat. She noticed that the bartender, a Praetorian, was just standing around doing nothing. Well now he'd have something to do.

"Hey bartender! Get me a glass of good beer and some jerky if ya got any back there." DarkLioness ordered quite loudly, she folded her arms across her scarred chest and swished her tail impatiently. The sound of the door opening made DarkLioness glance back to see....

...someone that hasn't posted yet, but definitely will probably.

In the meantime, POV shifts back to Bloo, who's been arguing with this shit piece pudding lover. Well, she would be arguing back, if she could speak words, but...

BLOO: sadly i am only an eel

She can only speak to herself, in her mind. That is, unless she's broadcasting to other Xenomorphs through her Hive Mind ability. She isn't speaking English (or speaking at all), but that's how we see it.

Anyway,

She got up when one of FireHunter's people sat down next to her. She didn't like rival gang members. Especially if they were female. Female Xenomorphs remind Bloo of her mother, who is now dead. She's now dead because Bloo killed her.

BLOO: i can remember
BLOO: a time
BLOO: when i was a young girl
BLOO: i mean boy
BLOO: and i loved my mom
BLOO: and i was her favorite
BLOO: but then i got wrongbadded by kidd and then she stopped loving me
BLOO: so then i changed my body to be closer to her
BLOO: but the change made me hate her
BLOO: so i changed again
BLOO: into a girl
BLOO: and chopped her head off
BLOO: and molested her decapitated body
BLOO: and then i took her place
BLOO: and then firehunter threw all my babies in the ocean
BLOO: now here we are
BLOO: this was a poem by me thank you

Because of her Hive Mind ability, every Xenomorph in the room could hear her poem. Everyone threw up.

That's when...

FireHunter came in. It managed to fit through the door and immediately saw the Blue Queen at the bar. There was vomit everywhere.

Well this was awkward. The large Predalien worked its way through the crowd of people -this place was packed- and got to the bar. The opposite end to the Blue Queen. Any other place and this sort of situation would have been an absolute battleground, of course here, where higher powers forbade any acts of violence on punishment of brutal and painful deaths, there would be no combat. FireHunter was honestly quite disappointed. Although this rational thinking business was completely alien to the beast. Pun intended.

It sat quietly at the bar, how the barstool could support the creature's weight was beyond physics but it was working. This being quiet business was new as well.

Metaphorically speaking, it was, at this moment, as if a fleshy elongated membrane forcefully inserted itself into Bloo's metaphorical human area of sexual reproduction, giving her a brief-yet-splintering metaphorical moment of displeasure known to human females as "WRONG HOLE."

Bloo'd just picked up a signal that really did not jive with her metaphorical turkey. When she left the bar in the last post, it was because one of Fire Hunter's unholy biznatches had just sat down next to her. As Bloo rose from the bar, she noticed said biznatch turning her head to the door as if she were expecting someone important to come through it, though Bloo didn't care enough to actually look to see who it was because she was preoccupied by the poisonous memories of her past, reiterating themselves as a brilliant poem.

That important someone turned out to be the asshole she was searching for. In a dramatic turn of events that no one could have forseen, Fire Hunter had found Bloo rather than the other way around. How could anyone have known Fire Hunter was going to post in this thread, thus finding his way to this bar?

BLOO: holy shit
BLOO: hoooooooooooooo

Holy shit!

BLOO: cuntsteak
BLOO: i hope i dont fuck the toaster on this

Bloo was drunk, depressed, and honestly, kind of slutty right now. She was nowhere near ready for confrontation - to "take Yeller out back," as they say. Perhaps she should wait it out and hope Fire Hunter hadn't notice her? He WAS on the other side of the room, after all. In fact, he'd taken her old seat.

BLOO: corkscrewed assholes shitting into infinity
BLOO: i musnt run away
BLOO: i musnt run away
BLOO: i musnt run away
BLOO: i musnt run away
BLOO: i musnt run away
BLOO: i musnt run away
BLOO: i musnt run away
BLOO: i musnt run away
BLOO: i musnt run away
BLOO: bloo get in the fucking robot lets do this

She walked over to Fire Hunter, trampling over the crowd with all four hands in the air. She also yelled at him, although he couldn't actually hear the words she was speaking the way you and I do because she's not really speaking English.

BLOO: hey man
BLOO: why the fuck did you dump my babies in the ocean

That was it. FireHunter knew that physical violence wasn't allowed, but mental and verbal violence, well that was a different story.

"Because they were fuck-ups!" He roared back, the rest of the crowd wouldn't have heard, only Bloo through the link that all Xenomorphs shared.

FireHunter was already drunk when he'd entered the bar, three liquor stores later. Don't ask where he got the money, he didn't have any money he robbed them, that's what he did. In here, he would be paying with the cash from the tills of the old liquor shops, that's how he rolled. He had no idea what he was doing and that was the first command of his that's been translated into English for a long time, in fact, it would probably stay that way.

Oh man.

Ohhhh man.

BLOO: oh man

Oh, man.

Shit was about to go down. Is there any other direction in which shit can go? I don't think so.

Bloo stepped back in shock like a farmer stumbling upon cow stool in his bed - in both cases, a natural response to bullshit.

Bloo always had a rivalry with Fire Hunter. She was blue. He was red. There was no way there wasn't going to be a rivalry. It began many years go when Fire Hunter was a simple guard and Bloo had yet to become even a Warrior. It was innocent at first. Bloo, despite her (his, at the time) young age, became the Alpha Male under the at-the-time Lead Praetorian, Angus. Fire Hunter was the acting Alpha Male at the time (their actual Alpha, a Xenomorph called Dave, had gone missing). They competed to see which of their Hives would become more important to the Queen uniting the two hives. They had equal footing, but Bloo made the mistake of being killed by the then-leader of Alpha Draconis, Kidd. The Queen, Red, lost all respect for her.

Desperate, Bloo prematurely became a Praetorian, which messed with her mind. She mutated into an Abnormal. Even more disgusted, the Queen dismissed her to the lower ranks of the Praetorian Guard. Fire Hunter was the leader of said guard.

Their rivalry spiraled to its maximum point of hostility when Bloo changed her sex and became a Queen. For her, it was fabulous. Fire Hunter, though, couldn't deal with the fact that Bloo had attained power like that. Their litany of fire ended with the Queen being beheaded and sodomized. It began to rain afterward.

And Fire Hunter dumped Bloo's eggs in the ocean, bringing us back.

Seconds passed, turning into minutes. Her next words would be the ingenious culmination of her giant brain's processing channels, out-doing even the best super computers in terms of efficiency and speed.

BLOO: the only thing thats fucked up here is your face*
BLOO: *(your mandibles are super gross)

At least 60% of the room groaned. Several Predators turned heads, insulted. Pudding Guy was half-passed out. Someone who recently entered the pub left as soon as he heard Bloo's terrible retaliation. His mask looked like it was styled after a certain demon's face. Another Predator uncloaked just to tell Bloo that she should stop, quickly re-cloaking afterward. Someone in the kitchen yelled that one of the ovens exploded. One of the humans started crying.

DeathWraith sat back watching the scene with dismay. His jaw was hanging and there was saliva dripping out of it, such was the shock. "What unladylike words." he thought. He could feel the brains of the Queen and the predalien working at full power, trying to come up with the next insult. They were both twice as big as him and he was twice as big as all the other xenomorphs in the bar, which meant that it would only take a few minutes for the red guy to come up with an incredible retort. He had to step in.

His hand slid into the Queen's mouth and onto the predalien's lower jaw as if to gently push them away from each other. "Gentleman, madam, we can't have you start a whole nasty fight in here you see, so you're gonna have to keep away from one another. I suggest you slither back to your seats on opposite ends of this here bar and you can have a nice little civilized conversation and work your problems out like adults. Now I tell you what, we've got a few ways of enforcing rules in this town and one of them is called a deathdrop. You don't want me to call inn the deathdrop. I don't quite know what it does, since I've never used it before, but from what I hear, what happens is that something drops, and then a number of situations having to do with death may or may not occur."

He placed his hand on the red button on the wall behind him. "See this here button calls in the deathdrop. If I press it like this, there will immediately be conse- oh."

He realized that he had pressed the button as an example. He tried to show a big reassuring smile to the crowd in the bar and slowly slid his hand out of the Queen's mouth. "So yeah, you just sit back in your chairs now and there won't be any trouble, I'm sure."

After listening to FireHunter and Bloo go back and forth DarkLioness was surprised to see the Preatorian bartender step out and break the two up before things got worse. Then he started going on and on about something called "deathdrop" and that if he pressed that button deathdrop would happen. As it turns out the idiot pressed the button. The look on his face said that whatever this deathdrop thing was it made him worried. The scarred Warrior Xenomorph could smell that on him. But since the bartender was still nearby at the moment and not just standing around like a moron DarkLioness decided once again to request drinks and food.

"Excuse me bartender! I've been sitting here long enough without service, get me some beer and some jerky if you got any back here." DarkLioness requested growing more and more impatient with this Praetorian who moved slower than a Hunter stalking a Human. A Hunter walked past DarkLioness's seat muttering something about fish heads and bullets. The drunk Hunter who was trying to chat up Bloo was now staring at her, DarkLioness gave the Xenomorph version of a smirk and decided to turn this into a staring contest. After about a minute the Hunter's head dropped down on the bar with a heavy thud. Maybe he had passed out? DarkLioness swayed her tail back and forth in what could be described as a moment of happiness.

"I win." DarkLioness said under her breath. DarkLioness now returned her attention to the Praetorian. This time she had another question.

"Why did you press the button?"

Wiping his maw for the second time, War couldn't recall ever eating something with onions in it. At least he hoped they were onions. 'Wait, onions don't wiggle do they?' He thought to himself whilst staring into the bin he had just upchucked his chuck. The mental, verbal duel between the leaders of his hive and the rival were restrained to just grey noise in the back of his mind. He was sure that if he were to allow one little word to squeeze through, the owners would have to buy an entirely new trashcan. Maybe a new bar floor while they're at it...

War looked up and noticed a few new faces that had joined the crowd. He saw Darklioness impatiently waiting for an order from Deathwraith, Super watching Snowman play billiards (wait, how does he even do that?). War shook himself, ordered another drink from the not so busy bartender on the opposite side of the floor and took a seat some spaces from Darklioness. War had no ill will towards most of the members of the rival hive, he had respect for Firehunter (mainly cuz the guy sent him flying like a rag doll) and Darklioness, but respect is where his formalities ended.

He pondered whether or not if he should go over to his boss and try calming her down.

That's when...

... Deathdrop stumbled in, reeking of and Pabst Blue Ribbon and pee. The door was fighting him, so he shoved it. Fucker came right back at him. Jesus! He noticed the "pull" sign around then. "Eat a barrel of dicks!" he yelled, "you're not the boss of me!" He kicked it, and it opened enough for him to just kind of push through. Haha, bitch! Take your sign and shove it. I'm a badass Yaaiudha... Wait... YowOOOjuh...

Well however the hell it was spelled, he was one of those. Forgetting that he'd only just gotten here, he dug some money out of his pocket and slapped it on the bar. The bartender looked confused. "Sir, you've just put a condom and 6 Canadian pennies on the bar."

"YEAH," said Deathdrop in what he thought was a quiet voice, "BECAUSE YOUR MOM HAD SEX WITH... IT NEEDS PROTECTION. FROM YOUR MOM." The bartender blinked once. "That doesn't even make sense." But Deathdrop wasn't listening. He was too busy wiping down the bar of every drop of spilled booze he could find with a sponge. Once it was suitably soaked, he grabbed an abandoned (and nearly empty) glass of beer and wrung the sponge out. The result was something vaguely shit-colored and with the consistency of curdled milk.

"NOW," he mumbled after taking a sip, "WHICH OF YOU PUSHED THE FUCKING BUTTON?"

Deathwraith was right.

BLOO: deathwraith youre right

Bloo sat on a sofa on the opposite end of the room. It was squishy. It was a beanbag.

After thinking about it for a long time (re: 2 minutes), Bloo realized her sudden outburst was not one of bravery but of horniness. She didn't actually want to kill anyone tonight. She just wanted new babies.

BLOO: i wonder
BLOO: if anyone
BLOO: would really mind it
BLOO: if i
BLOO: just
BLOO: grew a sac right here and laid some eggs
BLOO: man would that be crazy or what
BLOO: haha
BLOO: that support beam on the ceiling is lookin good tonight
BLOO: if you were a human male
BLOO: and i was a human female
BLOO: there would be some biznasty copulation happening in a washroom cubicle right about now
BLOO: oh my god am i really getting wet for a fucking support beam
BLOO: it looks like a metal dick
BLOO: thats so metal

When a majority of the room stopped looking at her and began watching this jackass that yelled "WHO PRESSED THE BUTTON," Bloo climbed to the ceiling and began hugging a large support beam in near the center.

DEATHDROP: ?????????????????????!!
DARKLIONESS: ?
DEATHDROP: !!!!
WARALIEN: ...
BUG-HUNT: Dave, what the fuck, man. This bar sucks.
DEATHWRAITH: ??
DEATHDROP: ??????!
BLOO: i love you

War glanced away from Deathdrop demanding about some button to see his "proud" leader rubbing herself along the metal support beam. He faintly heard the whispers of desire emanating from Bloo his mind. 'Yep, gonna be one of those nights.' War thought to himself sipping his drink. After a few more minutes of Bloo whispering sweet nothings to the metal beam, War began to wonder if anyone would notice a two story blue Queen that some how managed to fit into this bar, rubbing herself on a metal beam humming something from Kesha. War shrugged and continued sipping his drink, if his "Queen" needed him, she knows how to reach him.

Coldthrone was half-passed out when a Predalien walked through the door, he wondered if it was his deceased cousins kid with that one chick, ya know, the one with big head and four arms. Then the sexy lady and his nephew Jimmy were gonna fight'n'shit and this one guy stuck his hand in the sexy ladies mouth and the other on Jimmy's chin, who was this guy again?

Then the one guy pressed a red button and Coldthrone passed out. He jerked his head up then slammed it back on the counter as Deathdrop busted through the door, sort of. Then he started yelling bout some shit and Coldthrone's hangover went crazy'n'shit and he grumbled'n'stuff. Then Deathdrop started sponging all the booze off the counter and put the sponge in Coldthrone's mouth to get his drool-booze.

He wasn't as bad off now and sat up, the sexy lady was still sexy so he wasn't sober yet, or so he thought, and she was doing sexy stuff to the support beam, he wondered if she was going make an eggsack'n'shit, that would be cool. He noticed the vomit everywhere and felt like he should since everyone else did. He threw up and cover his section of the bar with vodka and small animal chunks with beer goop. Fun times man.

krio just looked at these 'men' and said "ignorant as hell.... but hell doesn't care... they on the other hand.". he put a sinister smile on his face as he ordered a energy drink. still better then a pudding to him.

he saw both skull ripper and bloo.... and skull ripper foujnd blue 'sexy'. whatever the hell 'sexy' means, krio didn't care. he hated everyone, even his own brother 'badapple'. the only one that he ever gave a single shit about was dronehive, and she was well known for being a traitor. why did he give a shit? well even though they rarely were friendly, he yelled how useless she was and next day telling she was friendly.

i was probably drunk....

or high....

i think i shouldn't have taken that white cigaret-shaped thingy and put it in my mouth. it doesn't matter. i am the most awesome ass ever. wait, i am not a donkey? i am high.... so no one gave a damn that i said that.






i moved next to gamefreak and asked what she was doing. and she asked what's up.

"what's up?!? struggle is up sistah! salami, eggs, and bacon!"

my still sinister smile was awesome as ever. i was like V from 'V for vendetta'....

.... you know... without immortality....

... or knives...

... and karate flicks....

.... and masks, and capes, and hats, and explosives, and swords!


i was still like V though... the baddest motuhf*cha around.

yeah.... i must be high....