DeathWraith, Yautja, 10 years ago

Are you serious, I am Queen of the House of Ballads, with the Maid of Windemere as my other Queen and I already beat the shit out of Gadflow and his "god". I have enough gold to buy all of Rathir and make it float over the Plains of Erathell like I'm in the Teeth of Naros, the Weeping King is my bitch, I burnt half the books in Adessa, Niskaru pee a little when they hear my name and I got both a wife and a girlfriend on the island that used to belong to the artist formerly known as Dead Kel. There isn't a single Jottun, Ettin or Bolgan who hasn't shit himself in fear as he saw me spinning to his death like a motherfucking tornado of blood and fire. So the seasons better get in line. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a huge Leanashe and Banshaen lesbian orgy to host.

skull_ripper, Yautja, 10 years ago

Apparently not all the Jötnar shit their pants when they saw you do your flaming ballerina dance, cause you don't scare me and have no power over me faerie witch! Wait.... so are you saying your a chick? Or are you a dude and the queen?

DeathWraith, Yautja, 10 years ago

Female Dokkalfar Blademaster wielding flaming mastercrafted faeblades that I called "Alexstrasza's Horns". Here I am with my lovely assistant, Alyn Shir, getting ready to get threatened by some people who are going to be dead in a few minutes.

Deathdrop, Yautja, 10 years ago

Your assistant's armor has a few design flaws.

gamefreak33797, Yautja, 10 years ago

Guys...

Something happened that many of you might not know of.

But I have developed a social life..

And I have been places...

Seen things...

Terribly awesome things...

Such as *camera zooms in on face* FRIENDS!!

Oh, and I went with a girl to see Insidious 2 and then today she just up and text me, "Saturday nite. Bonfire. You are going."

Does this mean I broke the nerd barrier?

AM I NO LONGER A NERD!?!?!

skull_ripper, Yautja, 10 years ago

You are no longer a nerd, You have ascended into Geekhood my friend, welcome.


@DW: LAME, I knew you were making a video game reference, also if your assistant needs a "spearing" I'm free on the weekends.

gamefreak33797, Yautja, 10 years ago

*Screams internally*

But what does she mean by you are going....



Is she going to sacrifice me to Satan?

-Bloo-, Yautja, 10 years ago

You only break the nerd barrier when you still are one but you realize you aren't a loser.

Or when you have sex.





If you do both at the same time, it's said that your penis grows seventeen inches. Just pull out before that happens.

DeathWraith, Yautja, 10 years ago

What Bloo said. You're still a nerd, just a nerd with a girlfriend. Stop thinking that you need to be someone else and be confident in what you already have, that is what girls find attractive. Not your hair, not your body, not your voice, not your face, but the way you wear them. Most of your personality doesn't even count. Girls are naturally attracted to confident people because their subconscious tells them that you can provide strong offspring and a stable household. I'm not joking. This is how girls work. You know that saying that you don't want to know girls because girls know girls and they hate each other? It's true. You don't want to know girls. But I just taught you about girls. You're going to have to live for the rest of your life knowing that no matter what type of woman you will ever go out with, your relationship will always depend solely on how confident you are in yourself and absolutely NOTHING else.

So no, gamefreak, she isn't going to sacrifice you to satan. She is going to make you sacrifice yourself.

Also, friends come and go, don't get too hung up on them. Friendship isn't a magical bond that ties people together and bla bla bla, it's a mutual understanding between yourself and another person that you will not get butthurt at the various bullshit you may pull on each other and in return for this freedom of expression you can expect help when needed. But it's not guaranteed.

Also, SR, of course I was referencing a game, it's lame that you weren't. What, did you think I beat up mystical creatures in real life?

zero-alpha, Yautja, 10 years ago

Hey guys I have been wondering. Will the Playstation 4 be able to play Playstation 3 games as well?

ultimate-xeno, Yautja, 10 years ago

I think you might be able to zero.

Edit@deathwraith. .???

Deathdrop, Yautja, 10 years ago

Excellent segue.

skull_ripper, Yautja, 10 years ago

Bah! If I was making a Game reference I could easily have beaten you, For I am the Lord of Mordor! You cannot defeat me because your also a bad guy and I'm a bigger, meaner, smarter one! Honestly, people these days........

DeathWraith, Yautja, 10 years ago

Yeah, not only am I not a bad guy, but some of the things I've killed on Amalur were big enough to use Mordor as a potty. So you're obviously not the smarter one here because if you were, you could easily tell that being bigger and meaner won't help you.

skull_ripper, Yautja, 10 years ago

If they were that big then there is no possible way you could even penetrate their skin, I'll feather dust you and you sexy assistant with my mace right out the Morannon, don't come back Y'all, and respect the elder Fantasies punk! Amalur, sounds like a half assed Spyro fanfic, don't go making jokes about Middle-earth unless you actually got street cred in it bitch.

-Bloo-, Yautja, 10 years ago

One time I killed a big ass spider and I swear my dick leveled up.

skull_ripper, Yautja, 10 years ago

Good for you Bloo, did you put the points into stamina? Extreme splatter bursts? Or perhaps the Rod of stone upgrade?

DarkLioness, Yautja, 10 years ago

So I'm a little weirded out. We were suppose to be going through DC almost a week ago(we would have been there today) but a few last minute changes has us heading to Arizona and we're in Texas right now. Other than that I can't watch the news right now. So uh, see you guys tomorrow or Wednesday. Sorry if this sounds a bit like a downer I'm not really in a good mood right :(

DeathWraith, Yautja, 10 years ago

In what way does Amalur sound like Spyro? Really now. You are obviously not the smarter one at this point so please stop, you're making all the Uruk-hai not want to be your allies anymore. You know what it's like when you have a big, dumb friend who always stays at home and then you bring him to meet your friends one time and he completely embarrasses you and himself by bragging about things he can't do are impossible? That's how the Uruk-hai feel right now. BUT DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT! Let's take the most famous ruler of Mordor and check his track record.

What he conquered:
- Uninhabited Countryside ☑
- Neutral Regions ☑
- A Whiny Bitch (Saruman) ☑
- Places that had a Balrog and no other Maia to kick his ass ☑
- Any other place that fought back ☒
Now let's see who kicked his ass:
- Hobbits ☑
- Maiar ☑
- Elves ☑
- Men ☑
- Women ☑
- Dwarfs ☑
- Trees ☑
- A broken sword ☑
- Two starving, half dead Hobbits ☑
- His own ring ☑

Sounds like you need to step down. This isn't about whose fantasy is better, nigga. In your fantasy I could beat Tom Bombadil. You don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about, how can you even argue against it? I mean you actually think that the only way to kill something is to cut through its skin. Step down, bitch, step down.

ultimate-xeno, Yautja, 10 years ago

Hey I was just playing assassins creed 2 and in seriously thinking about making myself an assassins robe.