@Peterson and WolfThePredator


Congratulations to you both and I wish you guys good luck. Consider yourself yourselves lucky.


Oh and Peterson? Don't be afraid of being a parent, I'm sure you'll do a great job.


It's nice to hear some good news right now. Mainly since I found out I'm incapable of getting pregnant so that was tough to find out. But I tend to just roll with the punches I get.



All that said and done once again best of luck to you both and, yet again, Happy 2013 :).

Thanks lady but I'm nervous I might fail to raise my baby girl

@Peterson: Congrats, man. Some people are telling you not to be scared, and... Look, I don't have kids, but I've been a kid and I've seen enough kids turn out fucked up to tell you-

You're going to be responsible for the mental and emotional development of a human being. You should be scared.

I'm not trying to be negative. You've been in the military. You've seen combat. You've got this. But having a kid is a Very Big Deal, and fear is probably the most natural emotion in the world when faced with that news. Use it.

...

Also, for God's sake, make sure the kid sees Star Wars in the correct order.

4, 5, 6 THEN 1, 2, 3.

oh of course im not a communist my child will memorize star wars in the right order!

My child will be just like her mother a tough cookie and knowing sci fi movies like star wars all the way to avp I've seen wars and death but family is very important to me deathdrop I would do anything for my family

Also, tell them that Steven the Jetpack-Wearing Velociraptor will snipe them from orbit if they don't eat their peas.

Why a carnivorous theropod from the Late Cretaceous Period should be at all concerned with human consumption of a vegetable is a mystery for the ages, particularly given said vegetable had not evolved during his species' time on Earth.

Some say unhealthy humans are less fulfilling to hunt. Others claim he lost a bet with Santa. Still others insist Steven's copious consumption of cocaine is what drives his mad vendetta.

Whatever the cause, something about the lack of pea-eating in the continental United States pissed that dinosaur off enough for him to fly into orbit and start shooting, and NASA has had little to no success in getting him down.

Your children might grow up fucked up. They might not know their ABC's or possess an encyclopedic knowledge of 1980's science fiction films.

But they will eat their goddamn peas.

@DD: Sound advice, dude. You will undoubtedly be a wonderful father.

@Peterson: My own niece vaguely knows what a gun does ("it makes the bad men go away!"), so when your kid learns, maybe clarify first what "the bad men" are before she points her fingers at you and "shoots" you for not letting her eat ice cream at 2am.

MY GOLDFISH ARE MY CHILDREN.

Deathdrop you're weird man but I know my child will be a well behaved angle I think I'll call my child Alexa like alexa woods

He's a Velociraptor, he lives high in the sky

And please believe me sunshine, I've no idea why
But Steven, Steven, Steven, if kids don't eat their peas
Oh Steven, Steven, Steven, the trigger he will squeeze

He has a sniper rifle, he fires it from space.

Fail to eat your peas and, you will not have a face
Oh Steven, Steven, Steven, he's not fucking around
Oh Steven, Steven, Steven, he kills without a sound

He wears a special jetpack, to operate for years

So please eat your peas kid, and wipe away your tears
Cause Steven, Steven, Steven, he doesn't give a shit
Steven, Steven, Steven, don't love no hominids

Why Steven cares quite so much, it cannot quite be said

But fail to eat your peas and, he'll shoot you stone cold dead
Oh Steven, Steven, Steven, he's PE number one
Steven, Steven, Steven, look out here he comes

Please don't mention guns killing I have a condition and I'm worried my little angle might get harmed or worse

I find it very unlikely your child will be attacked by a Jetpack-wearing Velociraptor, so you can rest easy.

Thanks but I just want my family safe and die old and happy not in vain like my father he got shot in the head broke an blood vessel. I'm just scared when it comes to my family

... I'm very sorry to hear that, but a ridiculous song about a magical dinosaur that shoots people for not eating their peas will not somehow make something bad happen in reality.

THOSE FUCKING TERRORIST RAPTORS.

BLOO, DON'T MAKE ME ACT THE FOOL UP IN HERE.

A dinosaur? I never heard of Steven but u don't know what is out there I want my little girl safe she is my flesh and blood I just want what is best for her

I thought everyone did that here?

^ QUIET, YOU. YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN JEALOUS OF MY FINELY-CHISELED ABS.

@Deathdrop

*high five's you*

@Peterson
Oh and I got some more advice dude, since Star Wars was brought up: whatever you do don't let your kid think Jar Jar Binks is a cool character.