Yeah, I honestly don't know what I would do without the internet/vidja games/etc. Had I been born Amish, I would have thrown myself in front of a buggy by now.

Christ, would that even work? A jump off the barn, then.

... That's probably not high enough. Fuck. Guys, Parallel Universe Amish Me needs to either commit suicide or be genetically and cybernetically modified into a bio-mechanical spacefarring organism with impenetrable organic metal for skin and the ability to see subatomic particles by squinting.

... Preferably the latter.

Or he would figure out how to get out of the Darkest Timeline and get into ours, killing you and taking your place.




...Which is huge dick move.

Now that I've blown DD mind with me not having internet for the last 4(almost 5) years and that I was stealing Wifi from a neighbor's house before they locked it. I just wanted to make everyone else feel better in the fact that their are those less fortunate than them out there. And if you're all wondering how I'm still here and talking(?) to you, well.....BLACK MAGIC OF DIAL UP, it still exists and I don't own it as it owns my soul in trade for such a horrific POS such as itself.

Anyways I just wanted you all to reflect on what you would doing without the mystic goodness that is the internet and all its power. Now that I've had my hour in the spotlight you may all go back to your discussion on.......whatever, after you put some thought into what you you would do without internet at your house and no way to get it there.

^ That reminds me of when I went to see The Muppets, and they got to the bit with the 80's robot saying
"I-WILL-USE-MY-MO-DEM." He starts making the dial-up sound, and some kid behind us goes "What?"

EDIT: This has nothing to do with anything, but TV on the Radio is an amazing band.

A 5"5 emo kid named Elwood (I started a trend of calling him Birchwood) wants to fight me.
Let me give you some background.
Elwood had known Aimee for 2 weeks and started telling people how they were going out (They werent)
She found out because i told her (While he was next to her)


So he was very mad at me for that.


He would often play his music over the dock in the common room to loud and it disturbed the lessons downstairs. He would play the same Enter shikari (Not slagging off the band) song over and over and over and over to the extent that people would be leaving the room. He also had a habit of playing the song they played at my friend bonnies brothers funeral (time of your life - Green day) which puts her in tears even when she tells him to stop. When one of my friends went to complain he hid in a lift with Aimee
So obviously as the top bloke i am i went and found them in the lift and got him banned from the dock.


So he was even more mad at me


I then proceed to comment on one of his statuses on facebook about self harm saying "Self harming gets you nowhere" To which he gets his friend in from another school to come and square up to me. His friend is also fairly short. His opening line to Scare me was:

"Dont worry im not going to punch you"

"I didnt expect you would mate" -Me

So this kid makes a fool of himself considering i have atleast 4" in height on him.



Elwood then starts feeling Aimee up and guilting her into hugging him and holding his hand (He's one of these "OH WOE IS ME" fags (She's caring like that)) so i made her tell him to stop (She was really uncomphy with him doing it)

So he starts coming in with SCRATCHES up his arm so aimee would feel bad for him and stay his friend. Let me stress this. These were not deep, They were scratches and he walked around showing off his "Self harming" (Oohhh soo angsty and cool)



I often say "Aimee baby sorry if i was too rough last night"
To which he screams to his art class (He's 2 years older than me and is taking A-level art lol wut) that he's going to slit my throat.
The funny thing is that even when he arranged a fight with me, He didn't turn up because the entire rugby team were coming along to back me up.

He's basically angry with me because i'm more important to Aimee than he is and because i point out how much of a pussy and narcissistic he really is.

Oh birchwood, You do make me giggle.


Thats my story for the day lads

^I would have punched his lights out myself, but you most definitely did it the right way, although it would have been a lot funnier if he had had showed up with a few of his friends so you could put him in his place. Good job

Oh, high school drama - how unnecessarily goddamn high the stakes always were. Not to knock you at all, CH - any other kid would have tried throwing a punch or even hunted him down, so it's good that didn't happen.

Luckily for me, asshats like he and his friend were virtually non-existent after a certain point in my old school (junior year, maybe), but I don't know why they existed at all - I really don't understand the appeal for jeans tighter than your girlfriend's leggings and the elitist "I'm a skater/emo" status kids find so enthralling these days. Teen wangst is the worst.

The sexual abuse was especially disgusting and I know all too well how it feels when a friend is the victim of it.

I JUST GOT BACK FROM THE GYM AND I FEEL LIKE KILLING A HOMELESSMAN!

So I was watching Married With Children (or kids, whatever it is). For something that debuted more than 2 decades ago, its raunchiness was surprisingly less restrained than most family shows you see today.

I went in for a more energetic Ed O'Neil, and I stayed for a young Christina Applegate. Mm...

I love that show! almost as much as I love the Walking Dead! if anyone missed the new episode tonight I feel for ya guys, episode was nuts as hell!

Ah, good old Married with Children. I still have the entire set sitting with other old TV shows like M*A*S*H and The Munster's and Fraiser. I feel they could have ended it better.

San Francisco Giants just won the World Series!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo

Yes, I have heard of this Earth sport-game in which wooden instrument are utilized to knock spheres into screaming masses. It is good.

@Tawganator: Yeah, I read about the misfortunate canceling after 11 seasons - I feel that might have been one of FOX's bigger dick moves. The few episodes I saw last night definitely made a fan outta me. I still prefer Modern Family, though.

@DD: I would watch the shit out of Baseball if it were anything like the picture you painted in my head.

I have to learn of to do Opp Gangnam style for Holloween while in cowboy boots......
my feet already hurt from praticing

Christ, man.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9H679Xfokw <---for those of ou who dont know what Opp gangnam style is, and the guy on the right is the guy I'm dressing up for on Holloween. This dance is easy to in regular shoes but in Cowboy boots not so much and well...these boots kill my feet to dance in period

My husband's going as Deadpool and I'm going as Storm.

I'm gonna eat candy and veg out on the internet. Oh and I'm gonna be listening to some Rob Zombie, Marilyn Manson and Disturbed.

I'm gonna hope the power stays on.