But I saw one shit. What was that, if not an asshole?

EDIT: HEY GYS, you know why Planet of the APes was so good? The good guys won. I almost spelled "won as "one". How fucking sad is that?

Horses have second mouths located where other animals have a bung crack. That's why they can eat backwards while standing still. They have such huge dongs for the very reason of distracting you from ever realizing they're actually eating when it looks like they're doing nothing (for example: What the fuck is that food going into that horse's HOLY SHIT WHAT A HUGE DONG! What was I saying? HOLY SHIT HORSE WANG).

I'm not surprised it's not a widely known fact. During the 16th century, kings would take their manly mules and shove their cocks into its second mouth (it should also be noted that kings are sick bastards). One of the kings of France or something would be inevitably caught in the act and, not wanting to be seen as said sick bastard, claimed, "Oh, this horse? No, no, no! He's not giving me head! He's... He has an asshole! And so... I, um... anal. ANAL! ANAL ANAL ANAL ANAL"

So instead of a sick fucking prick, he was now just gay for horses, which, for some reason, is a much more dignified story for his pride and the newspapers.

And so the story spread across the world in a matter of days (because apparently talking about kings making sweet love to a horse is a great pass time for men and children alike). Lo and behold, to this day, we still believe horses have assholes and not a second mouth.

How do I know this? Well, that's a great question.

How do you know all of that Bloo?

Also planet of the Apes, the good guys won ... how original.

Great film though.

The good guys as in the crazed apes who killed everyone in their way?

Also, anyone remember this shit:



Predator slaughters Master Chief, end of story. By Josef Fritzl! The magic goat died of syphillis, but got better! Then he did (did he not?) see a deadly metaphorical crab dance.

"But how scandalous was his mother when she raped the three-legged fifth dimensional wombat?!" he screamed at my angry niece, who then responded by kicking him in the ass with a huge pole-like thing that got stuck.

A new age of innocence was thus ushered in. The scary part was that "The New Age of Innocence" was a name.

... Trippy shit, huh?

Yet what's worse around the fourth kingdom is populated by flying Monkeys with human balls, obeying Chris Hansen who is always ready to save - then repost forever.

Swamp Thing and Jesus, care to interpret????

Rules the Land with a passion and some cheese, oh Mighty Mary does! But she tripped on Hitler's giant boot-like thingy, which killed him. But then a guy named THREE DAWG then died of the good fight. At his grave his Momma said that Mister Brad was a flyingmonkey. "I live again!" it said. While yo momma's dead.

As thunder roared approached the horde with a hammer with a large "The Hillbilly Quit" inscription on it:

"Fuck her gently
And with fear;
Make her day,
'else you're queer!

With weird intentions
And funny toys
And also your
Furry cocks, boys!

And teddy bears
Ripping her hair
With a bear!

I gave chase
With crazy bass,
With crazy ass,
Right through glass!

Homies be joggin'
On my Noggin
Needin' some love
From some bugs
And some hugs
And some guns
From homo dawgs
With a lick
And a rhyme
And a lime
With a dime
During a crime!

Ain't he slick.
With a pick
And a hicky
Don't be picky!

And a dicky
With a ducky
Oh so fucky?
Ain't he lucky!

With a zombie
Hurtin his thumby
All the time!
Shoop the lime
(On a dime?)
Whilst ringing Chimes,
For nothing rhymes..."



==TV Show Starts==

Now: Mime Time. Mime a rhyme!

==Contestant:== "Lime, time, chime-"
==Show Host:== "Three words, poophead! Before you're dupe-ed with a cupid to be stupid!"

==Commercial==

"Tom Clancy's antigel made by Rolex!"

==TV Show Continues==

==Contestant:= "Blank verse, dawg!
Is a monkey
Not a horse-"
==Show Host:== "Have an enema! Unless your named penis is called and then withdrawn!"

==the show's band plays the theme song as the show ends=

"From a pong,
ROAR KING KONG!!!
Smoke with bong
Nes your dong
Shit my thong
Then eat thong
Singing a song
About being wrong
All day long
Smokin' a Bong
Relaxed and strong
Yearning for thongs-"
(==Show Host:== "Enough already, really.")
"-let's get silly
Kill a Billy
Don't be silly
We eat Billy-"
(==Show Host:== "Damnit you guys...")

Right, that's enough.

==the person who was watching turns off the TV==

I'd say I was drunk when I posted that, but I'm sure you figured that out. This talk of horse genitals intrigues me, though.

Yeah I'm not into the human/animal shit. I prefer my own species and as for race it doesn't matter. If she's hot, a little shorter than me, smart, funny and march's to her own beat then I'm happy. Hell I don't even mind the edgy girls I'm open minded. Except for Satanists.

So I umm just tired the chat thing ( so very ADULT stuff was being said so not for those under 18) and I think it went well.

^We have to keep up with kid slang, yo. Our "damn it" is their "what the shit you fuck." Mind, this goes for 13-year-olds, even.

The other day I was walking around the park and I heard this group of gangstas talk about what I assume was "hoes and bitches," and one of them, while fucking the air with his dick slang, yelled something like, "and after that, she was an ugly bitch!"

Now, on the topic of Planet of the Apes: FUCK YEAH. Did he go out like a bitch? "NO." Did he ride a goddamn horse into battle? YES.


Edit: Horse genitals always intrigue me.

"Damb dog!"

If it wasn't obvious enough already this sites been completely fucked over and spammed again.


Wait what?

Horse genitals?
Chatrooms?

Has this become an adult dating site or am I still trippin out from that metaphorical crab dance?

Spam? Why Gaunt, whatever are you talking about? I see only fine people discussing the finer points of horse genitals.

The hard points, or the points with holes in them? Either way, they're all fine.

Oi I have this forum problem.(not here)

At some posts (the small posts) there is a few blank lines underneath the signature. I think this is cause all the posts have this minimum size and when the post isn't that big, this minimum size goes beyond the signature and makes it look bad. So is there a way to get those signatures stick to the end of the post.

The forum uses BBcode btw so no html.

well that seems to be a personal problem that you are having, i would ask technical support.

Does living in bikini bottom and being absorbent..... make Spongbob, a Tampon?

^I lol'd when I read that!

Maybe not otherwise he's a huge odd shaped tampon. No one would be able to use a tampon that size. Unless they happen to be a blue whale.

If spongebobs the equivalent of a huge tampon, the what does that make Patrick and Mr Krabs?

You know what I'm getting at.

I got it! Patrick's a rough five-sided dildo, right?


Krabs, though. He's just depressing. And itchy.

Why would spongebob be huge?

The little Mermaid used him as birth control?

HUH! I made a Seinfeld reference.

What is Squidward Tentacles then?