All that anger makes you heat up. You're not cool anymore. Step aside, I'm taking over. So here's the plan guise, we seal the cows' butts (preferably with arctic seals, because they're cooler) and attach strings to them. Then we wait for them to inflate from their own gasses so they act like balloons. Then we tie nukes to them and let them float away around noon. The gravity of the Sun at that moment is the strongest and, hungry for sacrifice, it will pull the cows right into itself, without even suspecting that they are carrying nukes.