GOD DAMNIT MEBBER

At least be faster next time.

This isn't a got-to-have-the-last-word-post, i'm expecting to continue here :3

lol I was gone quite some time, eh?

Since before my time, i assume.

^No she hasn’t been here that long DeathWraith. She joined either five or seven months ago.

Oh right. Confused her with that other guy. I think that means i need a shower. And maybe change my bedsheets. It stinks in here god damnit.

O.O ok I'm not even going to ask.

God dammit. A pair of pigeons plague me for a few weeks, polluting my balcony with their excrements from time to time. And now they've even choosed my balcony for their new hatchery, and they've already layed two eggs. Now i have to figure something out before they floor my balcony with their poo entirely, but i have no idea what to do with these eggs... to simply throw them off my balcony is a little bit too cold-blooded.

Breed them. Pigeon meat is very tasty i hear.

Light the nest on fire and lissen for the eggs to explode with there offspring and perhaps the parents fly away on fire also....

We're like the good and evil sides of Butch.

"Light the nest on fire and lissen for the eggs to explode with there offspring and perhaps the parents fly away on fire also...."

Thats nutty, i won't slaughter innocent animals like that. That would be a waste of life. And even if i'd plan to kill them, i wouldn't do it this way. Exploding eggs? Imagine the horrid bloody-burned mess on my balcony and facade!

Alright, the idea isn't "completely" nutty. At least i could set the parents on fire, they wouldn't pollute my balcony with their cadavers if they're still able to fly away a few metres before dying. I could use a deospray-flamethrower, i always wanted to test such a thing.

But i favor DWs idea. In fact i thought of a similiar solution of the egg-problem before. But the idea of baking two fully grown pigeons is much better than boiling two lousy eggs for breakfast. And eating them wouldn't be a waste of life, it would be a benefit for me. No bad karma.

Great now I have two DBO members I have to avoid!

Or feed them them rice and watch them swell and die >:3

^Ok I’ve come to understand that you probably are not allowed to own any type of animal by order of the law.

Namely birds and other small critters. Whoa wait! You aren’t a sociopath are you?

That's a stupid question to ask someone who suggests you torture birds for having no place to lay their eggs other than your balcony. Plus, the original composition of the DBO was all-sociopaths and misanthropes. I'm not as much a sociopath or a misanthrope as i used to be, but only for a short time.

I hate 24 hour Barracks duty.... On the bright side going home on Sat for 16 days of leave fucking stoaked!

"Has anyone here eaten a snake yet? I've heard they taste very good, like a nice mix of chicken and fish."

Nope, but I've eaten German (saksanhirvi). They taste nice when fried on pan. Therefore I'm superior human being:P

Mebber: what's wrong with birds on balcony? I feed crows on mine. They keep unwanted human population away from your backyard when they pick somebody's eyes if oomans get near.

Also birds dieing in rice is an urban legend. I remember it was huge debate in here if you were allowed to throw rice in wedding 'cos of the birds feeding on them. Too bad rice haters got busted when the birds were fine and healthy.

One more day and I get to rip wallpapers from my friend's apartment, mwahahahaa!

But the birds on my balcony aren't cool crows, they're dirty street pigeons. They shit all day. I don't want to have shit on my balcony- and their nasty pigeon poo isn't just ugly, it's also slightly corrosive and morbiferous.
And pigeons aren't very brave creatures, so they wouldn't hold off any trespassers. They simply would fly away (but, of course, return a few hours later), and continue to shit while doing so.
But i live on the 4th floor, so it's somehow very unlikely someone gets near my balcony from the outside anyway.


"Nope, but I've eaten German (saksanhirvi). They taste nice when fried on pan. Therefore I'm superior human being:P"

Wait, wait. I didn't understood you completely. Why is red deer german? Or did you meant you've eaten 'germans'? Is that some kind of special delicacy in your country?

I think i should call my sister asap, she's in finland as an au pair girl right now. I told her it was a bad idea, fins are crazy all together. But she was blinded by your peoples propaganda. Now i have to deal with the birds AND warn my own sister of your cannibalistic appetite. Great.

PS: While the rice-thing may doesen't work for birds, the same principle works very well for ants if you use sugar-strewn yeast instead of rice. The ants will burst like an egg in a microwave oven. Keep that in mind, just for the case you ever have to kill a lot of ants terrorizing your garden.

Hm, maybe we should change the topic before the animal welfare people show up...

^I don’t know if adopting a pet counts but Harpy adopted a dog so she might object.