MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!
RECTUS!
DOMINUS!
THE MONKEY IS RISEN FROM HIS PLACE OF SLUMBER.
THIS THREAD WILL BECOME THE SHIT AGAIN...
FOR IT WILL BE FILLED WITH THE FLUNG SHIT OF THE MONKEY!
IA!
IA!
MONKEY FHTAGN!
DISCUSS ANAL FISSURES!
QUESTION WHETHER SWEDISH FISH FEEL PAIN WHEN YOU BITE THEM!
TALK ABOUT HOW SHERLOCK HOLMES IS PROBABLY GAY!
WORRY THAT THE LINT ON YOUR SHOE MAY BE AN ALIEN!
TELL A STUPID/FUNNY/WHATEVER STORY INVOLVING PARTICLE PHYSICS!
And stop talking in all caps, because it's probably bad for your eyes.
Whatever you talk about, please, for the love of God, make it something more interesting than "I got drunk I passed out." If you're going to tell a drunk story, tell a fucking drunk story.
For example: The first time I ever got drunk, I started ranting about how short Kim Jong Il is in the middle of a restaurant. I tried to stand up, whacked my knees on the table, and then started laughing about how funny it was that I had, in fact, whacked my knees on the table.
Whenever someone else tried to talk (usually to the effect of "dude, shut up before we get thrown out") I told them to shut up. Or called them an ass-goblin, whichever came first.
^ And hell, even that's pretty tame. C'mon. Let's ride the electric bungalow into the land of unicorn fornication.