What would the Elder do? (AVP)

He would die a horrible death.

At once?

Why 15 Xenos? Why Xenos at all - why not make them Badbloods? No, let's make them tigers.

Yeah.








Tigers.

But really, it depends on the circumstances. He may or may not live.

Well, will it happen right after he gave his spear away?If it is, than that lowers his chance of suvival, because I didn't see and plasma caster on him...

Well, since all Elders have the spirit of Jesus in them (a proven fact, mind you), it'd pull a Neo and kick all of their asses with a metal pole. In fact, it doesn't need the metal pole. Give it a toothpick, some string and a ball-in-a-cup and it'll pull a McGuyver.

Their insides would rot, and the Elder would have gained the power. Of course, by having the spirit of Jesus in him, he'd already have the power. The power...













...of Christ.

And that is how the Elder beat 15 tigers in a snowy deathmatch in the middle of no where.

dude seriously. i thought this was the elder vs aliens. i would still thinl he could kill a tiger though

Aliens ain't got shit on tigers! Tigers are cuter when they're cubs AND when they're eating your right arm with their claws stuck in your face. Making them superior. Just like asian women (cuter both when they're cubs and when they're eating your right arm with their claws stuck in your face also). So Aliens ain't got shit on tigers and asian women.

Now what would the elder do against 15 asian women with tigers, is the real question? Or tiger-women, yiff yiff!


Also, i doubt it's the power of Christ, they said the same thing about Chris Angel and it turns out SPOILER WARNING he's just an illusionist.

No, it's definitely the power of Christ.

@OriginalTopic: What if a marine fought an Alien with only half its third thumb? How many Queens can a BadBlood kill? How many licks does it take to finish a tootsie pop?

These questions, like the central question of the original topic, have no definite answer. Do bears release three shit pieces when dropping the deuce? I don't know and I'm sure no one can give you just one actual answer to that as there are quite a number of them.

I don't mean to offend or mock anyone, but these kinds of questions are just this side of ridiculous.

There was actually a topic once where someone asked of a xeno could win against 50 tigers.

... Seriously, I swear to god. Tigers. This isn't the first time. How messed up is that?

hai guyz duz queen win agenssst 4 eldurz LOL

The part about the 50 tigers actually made me laugh a little.

I think that, in times like this (not much activity), there's just some desperation to get a new topic started and, well, these kinds of questions get asked.

It's not a stupid question - there's no such thing - but there are no real answers... it usually just leads to a majority of the members agreeing to the best answer, or maybe some arguing.

What do you mean no such thing as a stupid question? Here's one: "Has your mother ever had sex?"


And yeah, being just the 4-5 of us talking here makes us really go off-topic, especially in useless threads. During the official and thought-to-be-official RPG's there was a burst of activity. Too bad AvPR was a bad enough movie for everyone to TRY VERY HARD to say the best about it. Otherwise we could have had some really exciting stuff to discuss... Maybe when the game comes out :>

Oops sorry people I forgot to say the AVP Elder would have good weapons to fight 15 xenomorphs.


The AVP Elder would have these weapons to fight

Combi Stick
Wrist Blades
Arm Blades
Net Gun
Plasma Caster
Shuriken



He will have the best weapons.

He'll do a great job until the other 14 Xenos jump on him, even more so since his old crippled ass is weighted down with all those weapons.

EDIT: Good God, I hit the "H" key instead of the "J" key on "Jump" at first.

Lol DD.

Does the Elder have Plasma Caster? If so, it would be no contest, Elder all the way.

Remember the species is about sport, but isn't afraid to dispatch attackers if it is at a disadvantage.

He doesn't even need those weapons. He's the fucking Elder. He has the fucking power of Christ. What don't you get? He will beat the shit out of those tigers whether you change it up or not.

We're not talking about walking on water. We're talking about exploding heads through thought. The advent occurs every time the Elder graces the battlefield with his sovereign penis.

This is not war. This is genocide. Where there are tigers on the loose, he'll be there. When a clan needs leading, he'll be there. When shit hits the fan, he'll be there.

When he's not there, he'll be there. He's the elder. And he'll fuck your shit up.

The Elder is so badass, God asked his permission before resting on the 7th day.

He's so badass, he has a beard on the BACK of his head.

He's so badass that he wears a superman cape.

He can fly. UNDERWATER. (Ok, I stole this from the Boondocks)

I'll stop now.

Where exactly is this fight supposed to be happening? If we're talking an area with enough space and clear line-of-sight, the Elder might be able to pick enough of them off to make it a more even fight, then finish it with the standard weapons if he's lucky.

If we're in a tight place, there's really no way for him to win.

There are a lot of ways it could end. There is no real answer...








...Of course, the total amount of weapons he holds and the number of tigers facing him at a time changes everything, not to mention if his arm is broken, how many turtles just laid their eggs five minutes prior to the beheading of that chicken in eastern China Town... The inclusion of any major environmental issues totally screws with the equation.

Let's say he did have that stuff. Is this Elder fast and tactical or known for his brutality and "shoot first ask questions later" way of living? What would his attitude and current state of mind force him to use first? Is he sterile?

And the tigers. Are they cubs? Let's say their cubs with laser vision. Do they use this super power frequently, or are they like, on numerous occasions, Godzilla, and constantly refuse to use this power where it would make things much more conveniant?

The setting. Yes, that counts for something, too. Let's say the 15 cubs are in cages...

... Surrounded by bears on bicycles? I like the way you think!

At least you weren't trying to say "jump his ass".


But what if it were... An elder, 5 tigers and a rhinoceros against 15 xenomorphs and 3 asian girls wearing spandex under the schoolgirl uniforms that we know all asian females wear; and the rhinoceros had all those weapons in stead of the elder. Spandex, while raising your psychic power by 230%, does tend to throw you off balance and cripple your legs quite often.

Not to mention that the Elder can be wearing a different number of things himself. Any Predator can obtain the power of Christ when they reach level 99 with good Karma and reputation, which is the same as being an Elder. However, if my car had been stolen the previous day with fifteen dollars in my wallet (assuming I had absent-mindedly left my dear wallet in my car), the Elder would gain -15 in strength.

This, of course, would render him vulnerable to the psychic attack of an asian girl wearing spandex. But, should they cripple themselves, this bear would NOT be standing in my backyard as we speak. His tricycle would be broken and he would have to visit the blacksmith to repair it, unless the bear's repair skill was sufficient enough to get his means of transport fixed to at least 50%.

And I've forgotten that the tiger cubs would have to be at least level 78 to hurt the Elder with their laser vision, though being cubs, they can't learn IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZORS until level 81 while refusing to evolve into tiger adults. This means they would have to wait until level 100 to learn IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZORS as a tiger adult because, come on, who could resist evolving into a tiger adult?

But once they're tiger adults, the element Holy becomes super-effective towards them, and guess what? The Elder has the power of Christ. The battle wages on.

The xenomorphs, being in a party of 15, gain the ability leg hump, thus gaining a 50% chance of crippling an opponents legs. Them being Aliens, they're super-effective against all Predators, which increases all damage thrown towards Predators by 50%. They cause 9999 damage each. Multiply that by 15, and add in the super-effectiveness.

And the rhinos - everyone knows they specialize in Dark magic. They can also summon as well. Throw them into the mix, and, well, now you you have a reason to get your panties in a bunch.

Now, let's say the tigers had Super Ribbon equipped. That would reverse the effects of Holy and heal them instead. The asian girls wearing spandex have an increase in limb stability when in the same party as a tiger adult wearing Super Ribbon and bears, not to mention gaining the ability to decrease any Holy damage thrown at them.

The Elder is certainly fucked now.









...But let's say he TOO was wearing spandex...